Are My In-Laws Wrong for Giving Me the Smallest Room in the House?
Answered by Ustada Shazia Ahmad
Question
My in-laws gave me the smallest room in the house. They keep their daughter, a teenager, in the bigger room. My husband is silent about it. They always talk highly about Islamic values. Did they do justice according to Islam? They thought about their daughter, but shouldn’t they think about me? I am also someone’s daughter, whom they bring into their house. What can I do?
Answer
Daughter
A man is obliged to provide for his wife; this job is on the husband, not his parents. If you are unsatisfied with what your husband has provided, you can ask to move out, as you have a right to separate quarters. If you speak up, perhaps your husband will come up with a better solution. Also, this could work in your favour, as when one feels restricted, they have a better reason to move out, especially if a child is on the way, a no one can blame you. Don’t blame them for treating their daughter well in their own house. Everyone wants to be good to their daughter and show her love, it’s a part of tenderness and mercy and you will probably do the same for your daughter.
`A’isha narrated: A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking (for some alms), but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and did not eat anything herself, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) came in and I informed him about this story. He said, “Whoever is put to trial by these daughters and he treats them generously (with benevolence) then these daughters will act as a shield for him from Hell-Fire.” [Bukhari]
Patience
I urge you to be patient and display noble character while you are living with them. Look at the good that you have in this world and compare yourself to those in war-torn countries who are hungry, unsafe and desperate. Start your day every day with this hadith: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever among you wakes up secure in his property, healthy in his body, and he has his food for the day, it is as if he were given the entire world.” [Tirmidhi]
[Ustada] Shazia Ahmad
