How Do We Fulfill the Need to Be Loved When It’s Absent?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad


How do we fulfill the key human need of being loved when we feel it is missing?


Thank you for your question. I empathize with the pain of feeling unloved and I pray that you can fill that void with the presence of God in your life.

A Full Heart

When I first started learning about religion, my teacher told me that people strive to fill their hearts because we all have a void in them. People, Muslim and non-Muslims alike, try to fill the heart with material things, the love of other people, relationships, or anything that you can think of between the heavens and the Earth. But really the only way to truly feel that void is the love of Allah as that is the only thing that will satisfy the heart because that is what it was created for.

The Best Heart

It was narrated that ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr said: “It was said to the Messenger of Allah Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), ‘Which of the people is best?’ He said: ‘Everyone who is pure of heart and sincere in speech.’ They said: ‘Sincere in speech, we know what this is, but what is pure of heart?’ He said: ‘It is (the heart) that is pious and pure, with no sin, injustice, rancour or envy in it.’” [Ibn Maja]

And the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), said: “Whoever makes the Hereafter his goal, Allah makes his heart rich, and organizes his affairs, and the world comes to him whether he wants to or not. And whoever makes the world his goal, Allah puts his poverty right before his eyes, and disorganizes his affairs, and the world does not come to him, except what has been decreed for him.” [Tirmidhi]

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “By the One in whose hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you submit to Allah and you will not submit until you love one another. Spread peace and you will love one another. Beware of hatred, for it is the razor. I do not say that it shaves hair, but rather it shaves away the religion. [Adab al-Mufrad]

Due to your feeling unloved, I urge you to love others, serve them, be good to them, and nurture friendships and relationships, all the while knowing that your true and best company is your Lord, the sunna of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and our Glorious Book.

Please see these links as well:

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.