What Should I Do About My Anxiety Over My Children’s Health?

Question: Assalamu ‘alaykum. I experience anxiety regarding the health of my children. A few years ago they had to be hospitalised due to a virus and ever since then, I have just had this severe fear and anxiety over their health. Each time I notice something even slightly wrong, my mind goes to the worst. This anxiety is really difficult to deal with. Are there any reasons for this? Any specific duas to recite? Tried counselling, but it did not help.

Answer:

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

I can understand how this must be difficult for you. There are two routes out of this.

 

Being Prepared – With Faith

Firstly, learning to be comfortable with the fact that there are things we cannot control. Your children have a Loving Lord who wants what is best for them ultimately. If they are tested with health issues, then it will certainly be something that is in their best interest. They will benefit in many ways – if it was to happen.

Know that sometimes a small amount of pain and difficulty can bring much ease and goodness in the long term. Think of it as the pain of a needle when getting vaccinated compared to being saved from a serious illness. Please refer to this article for advice on how to cope with the anxiety.

Secondly, you should consider some form of therapy. Therapy is not the same as counselling. It focuses on the cause of the symptom. Please listen to this seminar for further clarity on the matter. The reason why your anxiety is so strong is that you have been been in situations that have been traumatic. Every time a new incident occurs and reminds you on a subconscious level of those past events, it triggers the past traumatic emotions and you suffer from the compounded effect of all the events. Once you work on this, it should improve.

Ask Allah for help, and leave your children to Him. He loves them and will always do what is in their long-term benefit. May Allah make it easy for you.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.