Should I Let Go or Keep Making Dua to Marry Him?
Answered by Shaykh Muhammad Carr
Question
This man and I genuinely wanted to get married, but his parents were opposed to the idea and wanted him to marry someone from his hometown. Despite several attempts to convince them, he was unsuccessful. He then began experiencing many difficulties in his life, including family and health-related problems. Under the stress and pressure he was already facing, he decided to end the relationship because he did not want it to add to his problems. He felt that, amid everything going on in his life, it was no longer worth fighting for.
However, I really want to be with him, and I know that du’a can change anything. I therefore want to continue making du’a that Allah fills his heart with love again and that everything works out. Even though he has let go and asked me to do the same, I still want to make du’a and place my trust in Allah, knowing that He is capable of all things.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.
May Allah decree what is best for you in this world and the next.
Do not stop making du’a. Everything will work out, Allah willing. However, leave it to Allah to decide what the best outcome is. Allah says, “And perhaps you love a thing, and it is bad for you.” [Quran 2:216]
Ibn al-Qayyim (Allah have mercy on him) said, “Beware, and be exceedingly cautious, of asking Him for something specific whose goodness and ultimate outcome are concealed from you. If you find yourself unable to avoid asking Him for it, then make your request conditional upon His knowledge, Most High, that it is what is best.” [Ibn al-Qayyim, Madarij al-Salikin]
At its heart, du’a is turning to Allah, so we should always be making du’a and never lower our hands. Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) relates that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) preferred comprehensive supplications and would leave aside other forms of supplication. [Abu Dawud]
Anas (Allah be pleased with him) reported, “The supplication most frequently made by the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) was, ‘O Allah, our Lord, grant us good in this world, good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.’” [Ahmad]
I pray this is of benefit and that Allah guides us all.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Muhammad Carr
Related Answers
One. Should I Pray That I Marry My Beloved Who Left Me? — Ustadha Shazia Ahmad: Accept what has happened, turn to Allah in worship, and trust that He may have spared you harm.
Two. Is It Permissible To Ask for a Specific Person To Be Your Spouse? — Ustadha Shazia Ahmad: Asking Allah for a specific person as your spouse is permissible, with the etiquette of du’a.
Three. Can I Pray That I Marry Someone When All Odds Are against Us? — Ustadha Shazia Ahmad: You may pray for him with a submitting heart, after the prayer of seeking guidance (istikhara) and some distance.
Shaykh Muhammad Carr has dedicated his life to studying and transmitting our beautiful deen. His studies have taken him around the globe, where he has benefited from many luminaries. Under the guidance of his teachers – Shaykh Taha Karan, Shaykh Yaseen Abbas, Shaykh Muadh Ali ,and many others – Shaykh Muhammad has grown to appreciate the beauty and benefits of diverse scholarship. He completed his memorization of the Qur’an at Dar al-Ulum Zakariyyah in September 1997 and received an Alimiyya Degree in 2006 from DUAI (Darul Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah). He is also affiliated with Masjid Auwal in Bo Kaap, Cape Town (the oldest mosque in South Africa), where he serves as a co-imam, and Dar Al-Safa, where he has taught since 2018. As a teacher, he imparts the wisdom of our heritage and tradition by opening the door for students. As an imam, he has the unique opportunity to serve his community in daily life. In addition to his roles as a teacher and imam, Shaykh Muhammad Carr has contributed significantly to the administrative and advisory aspects of Islamic institutions. Since 2023, he has served as the Administrative Director at The Imam Kurani Institute, contributing to the institution’s growth and development. He continues to pursue traditional Islamic Sciences, possessing a keen interest in Islamic Contract Law and Finance. Shaykh Muhammad has been a Shari’ah Board Member for Islamic Asset Management & Insurance Companies since 2001, aligning financial practices with Islamic principles.
