What Is a Marriage?
This is the first in a series of articles on marriage. They are taken from the seminar Why Marriage Contracts & Agreements Matter with Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.
Maulana Rumi remarked “Some people don’t love the beloved, they love love.” When parties approach the topic of marriage they may do so with diverse motivations. Such motivations could stretch to marrying out of duty and honor (whether they are fond of their spouse or not!).
Others may marry to ensure that their career prospects are stable and some may even seek to outdo others concerning the celebration. Individuals may be influenced by popular Rom-Com notions of marriage which may manifest in their seeking a spouse as well as getting married.
One should, however, be clear as to what a marriage is in Islam. At the heart of it is a very practical and simple matter: marriage is a contract between two parties.
The Importance of Marriage Contracts and Agreements
In times when the expectations of parties can vary, marriage contracts and agreements provide clarity. Being ignorant in this regard could lead to a catastrophe.
Take the example of a female doctor who intends to continue working post her marriage but doesn’t articulate this and comes to find that her husband wants her to give up her job.
Such a scenario could lead to dispute in the beginning stages of marriage so it’s important to appreciate the reality of marriage as a contract.
The Role of a Contract
A contract contains agreed-upon terms to prevent disputes from occurring after the fact. They have three key roles: fulfillment, preservation and prevention. The aspect of fulfillment can be seen to extend to the importance of having clearly defined essential terms.
Preservation aims to preserve rights and responsibilities and these matters are significant in the prevention of wrong and prevention of disputes. Marriage is for the long term. Certain short-term contracts may be easily fixable in an event of conflict but a long-term commitment comes with lifelong and deep financial implications.
A clearly defined contract, therefore, minimizes the possibility of the dispute.
Intention
In general, any matter can be judged by three things: intentions, the matter itself and the consequences of fulfillment or non-fulfilment. The best of actions can be ruined by an ill intent and so the intention is the first thing to consider.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) is reported to have said, “Nikah is from my Sunna.” Marriage is part of the civilisational Sunnas. It’s a building block of a religious community, society and Umma.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) is also reported to have said that “Whoever gets married has completed half their religion.”
The Matter and the Consequences
Marriage refers to two things. It is a contract but also the state of being married. The marriage itself lasts a long time and a lot can go wrong. There’s a lot of potential for one to be harmed in one’s Deen and one’s Dunya. You weren’t created just to eat, drink, procreate and die and it’s very easy to get lost and become a diminished human being. How you approach the marriage itself can be affected by the contract.
Having a contract is very, very critical to see to it that key marriage-building elements are firmly in place. One should also consider how one begins the journey of marriage. One should see to it that one is punctual with one’s prayers and avoid the impermissible on one’s wedding day.
Approaching marriage in the wrong way has implications for one’s religious well-being.
Difference Between Contract and Agreement
While marriage contracts are important there’s a fundamental difference between a marriage contract and an agreement. A contract is when there’s consideration involved from both parties and there are consequences to its non-fulfilment. Many things aren’t contracts and they cannot be enforced.
In a marriage contract, the marriage itself has very little that is essential to the marriage. All things that happen after the marriage that are not core to the marriage are simply promises between the two parties. Considering the element of witnesses for example, without witnesses there is no marriage. Furthermore, if the husband didn’t pay the due Mahr then this is an enforceable matter. It can be demanded and certainly, in a Muslim country you could take them to court for it.
On the other hand, a promise is something that one holds oneself to. However, if one didn’t, while one might be sinful, it does not affect the contract itself. For example, if the parties agree to have children within the first year of marriage but one of them couldn’t, is that something enforceable in the marriage contract? No. These are agreements rather than conditions. They’re not enforceable in themselves. So within a marriage contract itself, there are relatively few things but they’re critical elements that you must include.
Conclusion
The above-mentioned points illustrate the importance of approaching marriage correctly and how a marriage contract and agreement facilitates in that regard. The contract contains fundamental elements which prevent disputes. The marriage agreement outlines the expectations which also contributes to dispute mitigation.
It is always pertinent to consider the elements of a meaningful marriage contract.
