How Can I Convince My Parents That I Am Not Ready For Marriage?
Question: How Can I Convince My Parents That I Am Not Ready For Marriage?
Answer:
Dear questioner,
May Allah bless you and rectify for you your affairs.
The Importance Of Parents
We first have to understand the role of the parents. Allah has commanded us to respect and honor our parents.
“For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honor your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them even ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.” [Surat al-Isra 17:23] Being respectful and obedient to parents is an obligation upon every Muslim. Allah also commands us to show gratitude to our parents. This is something very unique for parents.
“We have commanded people to be good to their parents: their mothers carried them, with strain upon strain, and it takes two years to wean them. Give thanks to Me and to your parents- all will return to Me.” [Surat al Luqman 31:14]
Remember that life on this earth is short and temporary, while the hereafter is everlasting. Therefore one must focus on what truly benefits your hereafter not necessarily your worldly ambitions.
The Role Of Marriage
Marriage is a sunna or a prophetic practice that is noble and rewarded if one intends to draw near to Allah. Marriage requires certain rights and responsibilities from both spouses. Therefore, one should be prepared and ready for this.
There is a great comprehensive reader on marriage, I recommend you glance through it as it may have many things that may be of interest to you.
The link is here- https://seekersguidance.org/articles/good-character/etiquette-marriage-comprehensive-seekersguidance-reader/
How To Convince Your Parents?
You will have to sit down with them and have an honest conversation. Speak to them about how you feel. Explain how hard you have worked so far on your education and that you fear may be affected at the current moment. Perhaps agree on a certain date when you will sit down with them and discuss in more serious terms. You will have to listen to them and not upset them. At the same time, you may find a way to convince them and win them to your side.
What are some motivating factors why they should listen to you? Could they benefit from your decision to delay? ( their daughter may attain a degree )
I am sure you can come up with some good reasons. Finally, maybe someone you know might be able to convince them on your behalf and convince them.
Du’a Or Supplication
My advice is to continue to pray to Allah Most High and never give up. If your intentions are good and noble, I am sure Allah will help you. Pray daily for Allah to soften hearts and that He guide you all to the path that is most beneficial for you both in this world and the next.
Consider praying Salat al-Istikhara for guidance from Allah in choosing what is best. Here is a link to the prayer and its benefits.
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/istikhara-the-prayer-of-seeking-guidance/
May Allah bless you and inspire you to make the best decision.
Wassalam
[Imam] Yama Niazi
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
