Why Do Marriage Prohibitions Addressed to Men in the Quran Also Bind Women?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

The Quran mentions which women are forbidden for men to marry. But do these prohibitions also apply to women? For example, if a son is forbidden from marrying his mother, how can we prove that a mother is also forbidden from marrying her son? The verse mentions the mahrams of men, not women. Please explain with evidence from the Quran and authentic hadith.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.

I hope you’re doing well, In sha’ Allah.

Yes, these prohibitions bind women exactly as they bind men. A mother is unlawful (haram) for her son to marry, and he is unlawful for her, permanently, because the bar falls on the bond between them, not on one side of it.

This is how the Hanafi school defines an unmarriageable relative (mahram): the one for whom marrying her is not lawful, permanently. [Zaylaʿi, Tabyin al-Haqaʾiq]

Five Principles on Why Men Are Mentioned

Five principles explain why the verse is worded to men, and why its ruling reaches women:

One. The Quran Speaks to Every Responsible Person

By default, the Quran’s address is to all who are morally responsible, among humans and jinn. Allah Most High says, “Nor have I created jinn and Man, but to worship Me.” [Quran 51:56; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

The masculine pronoun is used because, in Arabic, as in most human civilizations, it was the default form of address.

Part of that goes back to a woman’s affairs being private, with part of her dignity lying in that privacy.

Some of these norms of address may have changed over time, but we understand their context and wisdom.

The Quran also states the same bond from the woman’s side. Believing women are told not to reveal their adornment “save before their husbands, or fathers and grandfathers, or husbands fathers and grandfathers, or sons and grandsons.” [Quran 24:31; Keller, The Quran Beheld] Her son is named among her unmarriageable kin.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) framed the prohibition by the relationship itself, with no mention of gender: “There becomes unlawful through suckling what becomes unlawful through birth.” [Bukhari]

He also spoke of the mahram from the woman’s side: “A woman is not to travel except with such a relative.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Two. Good Is What Allah Has Deemed Good

Ultimately, the good is what Allah, the Creator, has deemed good, and the bad is what He has deemed bad. He isn’t bound by any intrinsic rights or demands of His creation. Allah Most High says, “Never is He asked of what He does, while rather it is they who shall be asked.” [Quran 21:23; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

And Allah Most High says, “And your Lord alone creates whatever He wills and chooses.” [Quran 28:68; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

So the first ground of this ruling is simply that Allah forbade it.

Three. His Rulings Manifest His Wisdom

We affirm without doubt that Allah’s actions manifest wisdom, without His being in any need to act that way. He is the Wise (al-Hakim), and part of that wisdom shows in His rulings.

The passage on these prohibitions closes with this: “Verily Allah was ever all-knowing, all-wise.” [Quran 4:24; Keller, The Quran Beheld]

Four. We Were Created to Recoil from This

Allah also created us in a certain way, and by our nature (fitra) we abhor certain things. Marriage to one’s own parent or sibling is among them, for a woman as much as for a man.

Imam Zaylaʿi (Allah have mercy on him) notes that this permanent bar “lessens desire and longing for her, indeed removes it.” [Zaylaʿi, Tabyin al-Haqaʾiq]

The Sacred Law and the innate nature Allah gave us point in the same way.

Five. Every Ruling Brings Benefit or Averts Harm

The great Shafiʿi jurist and legal theorist Imam Izz ibn Abd al-Salam (Allah have mercy on him) writes that “the Sacred Law is all benefits: it either wards off harms or brings benefits.” He explains that when you hear Allah call, “O you who believe,” you should “reflect on His counsel after His call,” and you’ll find only good He urges you toward, or harm He warns you from, or both. [Izz ibn Abd al-Salam, Qawaʿid al-Ahkam]

That call is masculine in form, but it addresses every believer, male and female. And every believing woman answers it just as men do.

Among the benefits here is the safety of the home: a mother and her son, a sister and her brother, live together in trust, with no question of marriage or sexual relations between them.

Reading the Quran with This in Mind

May Allah open His Book to your heart and increase you in understanding and certainty.

And Allah knows best.

Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers

One. Are the Commands of the Quran Gender Specific or Neutral? — Mawlana Ilyas Patel: Quranic and Prophetic commands include both men and women unless a text specifies one of them.

Two. Who is Mahram — Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam: A mahram is one with whom marriage is permanently unlawful, by kinship, nursing, or marriage, with the full lists.

Three. Can I Marry My Cousin Whose Mother Breastfed Me? — Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat: One nursing makes a child like the nurse’s own children, so marriage with her daughter is barred.

Four. Why Does the Quran Mention Men More Times than Women? — Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat: A short video on why the Quran’s wording mentions men more often.

Courses for Further Study

Every course here is free, taught by a qualified teacher, and gives you the opportunity to ask questions directly as you study.

One. Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage — Shaykh Faraz Rabbani: Entering marriage with the right intention and choosing the right person.

Two. Absolute Essentials of Islam (Hanafi): Getting Started With Your Belief and Practice — Shaykh Faraz Rabbani: The foundations of Hanafi belief and practice.

 

Four. Quran: The Fatiha and Short Suras Explained in Depth — Shaykh Faraz Rabbani: The Fatiha and the short suras recited in prayer, explained.

النصوص · Source-Texts

[الزيلعي، تبيين الحقائق] «وَلِأَنَّ الْحُرْمَةَ الْمُؤَبَّدَةَ تُقَلِّلُ الرَّغْبَةَ وَالشَّهْوَةَ فِيهَا بَلْ تُعْدِمُهُ بِخِلَافِ الْأَجَانِبِ وَالْمَحْرَمُ مَنْ لَا يَحِلُّ لَهُ نِكَاحُهَا عَلَى التَّأْبِيدِ بِنَسَبٍ أَوْ سَبَبٍ كَالرَّضَاعِ وَالْمُصَاهَرَةِ»

[البخاري] «يَحْرُمُ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ مَا يحرم من الْولادَة»

[البخاري؛ مسلم] «وَلاَ تُسَافِرُ المَرْأةُ إِلاَّ مَعَ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ»

[العز بن عبد السلام، قواعد الأحكام في مصالح الأنام] «وَالشَّرِيعَةُ كُلُّهَا مَصَالِحُ إمَّا تَدْرَأُ مَفَاسِدَ أَوْ تَجْلِبُ مَصَالِحَ، فَإِذَا سَمِعْت اللَّهَ يَقُولُ: ﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا﴾ [البقرة: ١٠٤] ؛ فَتَأَمَّلْ وَصِيَّتَهُ بَعْدَ نِدَائِهِ، فَلَا تَجِدُ إلَّا خَيْرًا يَحُثُّك عَلَيْهِ أَوْ شَرًّا يَزْجُرُك عَنْهُ، أَوْ جَمْعًا بَيْنَ الْحَثِّ وَالزَّجْرِ»