Assalamu ‘alaykuym. I married a man in witness of some of my friends, through text message in a chatroom virtually. Was our marriage through a text message on chatroom valid? If it is valid, what should we do now? I do not want him as my husband.
Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
I pray you are well.
The Status of the Marriage
A marriage takes place with an offer and acceptance in the presence of two male witnesses or one man and two ladies. However, in the absence of the involvement of a wali (the closest male relative of the bride), the validity of the marriage depends on whether he is suitable for her or not.
Suitability (kafa’a) is based on various factors, such as lineage, profession, religiousness, and financial situation. If he is not suitable in these areas, the marriage will not take place without the wali’s approval.
Please consult a reliable local scholar on the above. However, if the marriage is valid and you do not wish to be married to him, you can ask for a divorce. If you have not been alone together physically, there is no ‘idda upon this divorce. [Maydani, al Lubab]
Take the Shari’a Seriously
The rulings of the Shari’a have consequences. If you do not know the legal ruling of something, consult a scholar. Playing games with it is highly inappropriate, and it can have disastrous consequences.
It is a fairly common scenario, unfortunately, to hear about someone divorcing his wife – as a joke – in order to make a “funny” TikTok video. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Three things are serious in seriousness and in jest: marriage, divorce, and revoking a divorce.” (Tirmidhi)
Please learn from this, lest there be some answering that needs to be done in the Day of Judgement.
May Allah facilitate what is best for you.
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.