How Do I Make Decisions for Allah’s Sake When One Costs Us Dearly?
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Question
This is my first time asking a question about Islam. How do we truly understand and seek Allah’s guidance when making complex life decisions?
At the peak of my faith, I made a choice I believed was for His sake, but it cost my family a fortune. I’ve lived in deep regret ever since, unable to recover that lost iman. Now I’m stuck in an exhausting cycle of sinning and brief tawbah, worn out from constantly battling myself.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.
Wa alaykum al-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
You chose for Allah’s sake, at the height of your faith, and you feel that it cost you and your family a fortune. Since then, you have carried that choice everywhere; the sweetness you once tasted has not come back, and you are tired of falling and getting up.
That is a real loss, and a real tiredness, and I am glad your first question brought it here.
A decision made sincerely for Allah is never “lost,” nor is its promised reward and benefit ever undone by what it cost. And the door back to Allah Most High is open today and every day.
The Choices Still Ahead: Consult and Trust in Allah
For the life choices still ahead, the Quranic way is to consult the wise, consider carefully, and then rely on Him: “Consult with them on matters of weight; And when you decide, then trust wholly to Allah.” [Quran 3:159; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
Life was never promised to go smoothly. Allah Most High says He “created death and life to try you as to which of you is finest in works.” [Quran 67:2; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
This test is measured by the work, and the outcome is always in Allah’s Hands–and we know that He is the Most Merciful, the Most Caring, the Most Wise, and the Most Just. We trust Him regarding uncertain or unclear outcomes.
This world is where the tests are manifest; and, ultimately, the fruits of our works, their rewards, and the truly meaningful and lasting results are given in the Hereafter.
If you consider carefully, Allah Most High even names the type of tests you describe: “And We shall try you with some little of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth, lives, and crops; And give great glad tidings to the patient: Those who say when any calamity strikes them, ‘Verily we are Allah’s, and to Him are we bound to return.’” [Quran 2:155–156; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ Innaa li’l Llahi wa inna ilayhi raji`un (We are indeed Allah’s, and to Him is our return)
Reflect On, Say, and Live This Meaning
Say those words–with understanding, appreciation, and reflection–over that decision, and mean them.
The wealth was Allah’s, and so are you. Then stop revisiting the issue, because the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “If something befalls you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such.’ Say instead, ‘Allah decreed, and He did what He willed,’ for ‘if only’ opens the work of the Devil.” [Muslim] Much of the regret you describe is that door left open.
Nothing of Your Sacrifice Was Wasted
What you gave up is not wasted. Allah Most High says: “Verily I waste not the work of any worker of you, man or woman.” [Quran 3:195; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told Sa’d: “You will never spend anything seeking by it the Face of Allah except that you are rewarded for it.” [Bukhari]
The wealth left your hands, but its reward went ahead of you–and we know that, by Allah’s Generosity, it will be multiplied beyond measure in the Hereafter; and that its good and blessing will also be manifest in this life. Ibn Ata’illah (Allah have mercy on him) puts it this way: “He may give to you and so withhold from you, and He may withhold from you and so give to you.” [Ibn Ata’illah, al-Hikam] It is from trust and good opinion of Allah, the Most Merciful (al-Rahman) and Most Compassionate (al-Rahim) to be sure of this, with contentment and even joy.
What About the Sins and Being Tired of Repenting?
As for the sins and the tired repenting, know that Allah’s Mercy is far vaster than both. He says: “O My servants who have committed excesses against their very selves, despair not of the mercy of Allah: Verily Allah forgives all sins soever.” [Quran 39:53; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
Each time you fall, repent again. A little repentance (tawba), sincere and repeated, is still tawba.
Guard your five prayers above all, even on your worst days.
Never doubt Allah’s promise because it appears “slow” in our eyes.
Ibn Ata’illah says: “Let not the delay of the gift, despite your persistence in supplication, make you despair, for Allah has pledged you an answer in what He chooses for you, not in what you choose for yourself, and at the time He wills, not the time you will.” [Ibn Ata’illah, al-Hikam]
The great commentator on these aphorisms (hikam), Sidi Ahmad Ibn Ajiba (Allah have mercy on him) explains: “Do not suspect Allah in His promise, nor despair of His gift and His bounty.” [Ibn Ajiba, Iqaz al-Himam]
The sweetness you tasted was a gift, and it is still His to return. “When He opens for you the door of understanding in withholding, the withholding becomes the very gift.” [Ibn Ata’illah, al-Hikam]
Sidi Ibn Ajiba relates in his tafsir, al-Bahr al-Madid, that some of the righteous said: “Travel to Allah lame and broken.” He then mentions the words of Ibn Ata’illah from the Hikam: “O Allah, I truly know the changing effects and the alterations of states, that what You have chosen for Me is for You to make Yourself known to me through everything that happens, until I am not unaware of you in anything.” [Ibn Ajiba, al-Bahr al-Madid fi Tafsir al-Quran al-Majid]
Turn back to Him tonight, tired as you are; He has not turned away from you.
And Allah knows best.
Faraz Rabbani
Related Answers
One. How Does One Regret a Decision after Making Istikhara? — Ustadha Shazia Ahmad: Regret after a sincerely made decision, and how to move forward from it.
Two. Am I Being Tested or Punished? — Shaykh Yusuf Weltch: Losing the sweetness of faith is a test, met with patience and perseverance.
Three. How Do I Get Out of This Shameful Cycle of Sin and Empty Repentance? — Ustadha Shazia Ahmad: Not despairing, and practical steps out of the cycle of sin and repentance.
«النصوص» · Source-Texts
[صحيح مسلم]
«وإن أصابك شيء فلا تقل: لو أني فعلت كان كذا وكذا. ولكن قل: قدر الله. وما شاء فعل. فإن لو تفتح عمل الشيطان»
[صحيح البخاري]
«إِنَّكَ لَنْ تُنْفِقَ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللهِ إِلَّا أُجِرْتَ عَلَيْهَا»
[ابن عطاء الله، الحكم]
«ربما أعطاك فمنعك، وربما منعك فأعطاك»
«لا يكن تأخرُ أمدِ العطاءِ مع الإلحاحِ في الدعاء موجباً ليأسك، فقد ضمن لك الإجابة فيما يختار لك لا فيما تختار أنت لنفسك، وفي الوقت الذي يريد، لا في الوقت الذي تريد»
«متى فتح لك باب الفهم في المنع عاد المنع عين العطاء»
[ابن عجيبة، إيقاظ الهمم]
«فلا تتهم الله في وعده ولا تيأس من نواله ورفده»
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan. In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era. Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs. Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School.” This book, published by White Thread Press in 2004, is a significant contribution to Islamic literature. His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse. Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.
