Ustada Raidah Shah Idil is asked if marrying a practicing sister who does not wear hijab is permissible.
Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.
Where I come from, there are many Muslims that practice Islam without their parents’ consent. I belong to such a family, but alhamduliLlah things have changed a lot for me. I can join prayers in the mosque, and have permission from my family to do that.
But I have lots of friends who can not, for example, join prayers with jama‘a, or join Khalaqas given in Mosques, generally because of the fear of falling into the extremism of the religion. For these families, praying, reading Qur’an, joining Jumu‘as are things that put their kids in extremism, as well as the fear that their kids will leave the dunya altogether, and will leave science to seek knowledge for the deen. Anything along the lines of Islam is fearful for them.
There are sisters in my hometown who are religious. They pray, read the Qur’an, listen to khutbas through the web, and fast every Ramadan. Headscarf is another point that is risky to put on unless they’re praying. Families don’t give permission to wear the hijab outside, because it is a way of backwardness.
My question is, is it allowed for me to marry a non-hijabi sister who is religious, a good person, and a practicing Muslima? Do I get any share in the sin she does because of not wearing the hijab (if married to such person)?
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.
“And each soul is paid in full for what it did. And He is Best Aware of what they do.” (Sura al-Zumar 39:70)
In short, yes, it is permissible for you to marry a non-hijabi sister. Her sins are on her, just like your sins are on you. As spouses, it is better for both of you to encourage one another to whatever pleases Allah, even if it may displease everyone else.
Marriage as Growth
Spouses, especially in the first year of marriage, often trigger old wounds from childhood e.g. fearing practising the din openly, feeling chronically unworthy etc. Use these uncomfortable feelings as opportunities to work on dismantling these patterns, together. For example, once she is married to you, then your future wife can rest easy knowing that you are supportive of her decision to wear hijab. Her family will still be unhappy, but when a married daughter leaves her family home, it is understood that her husband will have the greater influence, moving forward.
I pray that marriage will be beneficial for both of you, and increase you both in inward and outward observance of the din.
Please complete this course Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages.
Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.