Must I Divorce My Wife If She Says She Will Keep Committing Zina?
Hanafi Fiqh
Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Question
My wife committed zina once. She now says calmly that she will continue in secret. I follow the Hanafi school. I will not be intimate with her, and I will provide only basic needs. Can I keep her in the marriage for our young child? Or must I divorce?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.
I am so sorry to hear this. For your own wife to calmly say what she said is a wound few men could bear. May Allah bless you for responding by seeking religious guidance and by thinking first of your child. You should feel deep gratitude to Allah for this.
Divorce Isn’t an Obligation but a Considered Choice Here
Divorcing her is not obligatory for you, though if the two of you fear you can’t keep within Allah’s limits, there is no harm in parting. Since she says she will go on, sit with a local scholar soon, before you settle on any arrangement.
The great Cairene Hanafi jurist, Najm al-Din Ibn Nujaym (Allah have mercy on him) records that “it is not obligatory on the husband to divorce an unchaste wife,” unless “they fear they will not keep within the limits of Allah, in which case there is no harm in their separating.” [Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Raʾiq]
Whether you choose to continue or not is your personal choice. Consider carefully, consult someone of wisdom you trust, turn to Allah seeking guidance through the prayer of seeking guidance (salat al-istikhara), and then decide. May Allah facilitate the best of outcomes.
The Prophet Met a Man in Your Place with Mercy
A man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said, “My wife does not refuse any seeking hand.” The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Send her away.” The man said, “I fear my heart will follow her.” He said, “Then stay with her and enjoy her company.” [Abu Dawud]
Mawlana Khalil Ahmad Saharanpuri (Allah have mercy on him) explains that he feared that if he made divorce binding on the man, his heart would long for her and he would fall into the unlawful, so he permitted him to keep her. [Saharanpuri, Badhl al-Majhud]
You May Not Accept or Overlook It
Whatever you decide about the marriage, one thing isn’t open to you: you may not consent to her continuing or look away from it.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) named among three people whom “Allah will not look at on the Day of Judgment” the man without protective jealousy (dayyuth). [Nasaʾi]
Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) defines such a person as “one who feels no protective jealousy over his wife or close female relatives.” [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]
Allah Most High says: “O you who believe, shield yourselves and your families from a horrific fire whose fuel is men and stones.” [Quran 66:6; Keller, The Quran Beheld]
Your duty in such a case is to command the good and forbid the wrong, with clarity, but with mercy and restraint. So tell her clearly that this is forbidden and that you will not accept it, and do what you reasonably can to guard your home.
What About Staying for the Children?
Staying for your child is an honorable wish, but a marriage kept without intimacy while she persists raises real questions about her rights and yours, and about what you can bear for years.
This is a difficult decision. Make it on the basis of what will be best for your eternity. And consult the learned and wise, in confidence.
So don’t decide alone. Pray the Prayer of Guidance (istikhara), and sit this week with a trusted local scholar who can hear the whole story.
May Allah mend what can still be mended and protect your child. Ask Him often:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ…
Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyyatina qurrata aʿyun.
“Our Lord, give us from our wives and successive generations of offspring a pure joy to set eyes upon for their righteousness…” [Quran 25:74]
And Allah knows best.
Faraz Rabbani
Related Answers
One. My Wife Cheated on Me with Another Man. — Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil: Exhaust every effort to save the marriage through counseling and prayer, with divorce a permissible last resort if the wife remains unrepentant.
Two. Am I a ‘Dayyuth’ If I Let My Wife Go out Without Hijab? — Shaykh Jamir Meah: The dayyuth is the husband indifferent to his womenfolk, not one who sincerely and patiently works for what is right.
Three. Should I Leave My Husband Because He Is Scarred by My Cheating? — Ustadha Shazia Ahmad: Pray istikhara before deciding; staying for the children can work, but it takes great effort, patience, and giving.
«النصوص» · Source-Texts
[ابن نجيم، البحر الرائق]
«لا يجب على الزوج تطليق الفاجرة ولا عليها تسريح الفاجر إلا إذا خافا أن لا يقيما حدود الله فلا بأس أن يتفرقا»
[أبو داود، سنن أبي داود]
«جاء رجل إلى النبي ﷺ فقال: إن امرأتي لا تمنع يد لامس، قال: غربها قال: أخاف أن تتبعها نفسي، قال: فاستمتع بها»
[السهارنفوري، بذل المجهود]
«خاف النبي ﷺ، إن أوجب عليه طلاقها، أن تتوق نفسه إليها، فيقع في الحرام، فأباح له إبقاءها»
«لا أنه تحقق وقوع ذلك منها، بل ظهر له ذلك بقرائن»
[النسائي، سنن النسائي]
«ثلاثة لا ينظر الله عز وجل إليهم يوم القيامة: العاق لوالديه، والمرأة المترجلة، والديوث»
[ابن عابدين، رد المحتار]
«الديوث من لا يغار على أهله أو محرمه»
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan. In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era. Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs. Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School.” This book, published by White Thread Press in 2004, is a significant contribution to Islamic literature. His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse. Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.
