Conflict Resolution: Have Mercy

This is the sixth in a series of articles on the key principles of dealing with conflict in accordance with the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) from the seminar The Prophetic Principles of Conflict Resolution.

We will have problems when there is no mercy. If we want to follow the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), take heed from this example:

In the battle of Uhud, the Quraysh came very close to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace). His blessed teeth were broken. His forehead was broken. The helmet went in his blessed cheek (Allah bless him and give him peace) and he was bleeding. 

The Companions then said, “O Messenger of Allah, make Dua against them.” At that very moment, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah did not send me as someone that would curse people, someone with a bitter tongue. I am only a mercy that Allah sent as a gift for all creation.”

At that time, he made the Dua, “O Allah, guide my people. Verily, they don’t know the truth.” In another narration, “O Allah, forgive my people. Verily, they don’t know the truth.”

A Nation of Mercy

Who is he making Dua for? Not a normal enemy but enemies that hate him. They killed those closest to him. Tried to damage him and his reputation. Falsely accused him and removed him from Makka and then they fought against him.

Qadi Iyad mentioned there are three things in this supplication of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). The first was that he made Dua for them. The second was that he related them to himself (“my people”). The third was that he made an excuse for them in saying, “they don’t know the truth,” meaning if they only knew the truth of what they’ve done.

Mercy is the source of all good. Whenever we have a conflict, we have to remember that we are a nation of mercy. With regards to that very authentic hadith and all the scholars, when they give the chain, they give you chain: Al-Hadith al-Musalsal bil-Awaliyya. It is the chain where the hadith is the first hadith that the narrator’s Shaykh taught him and like this, it keeps going. 

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Those who are kind and merciful, they will find mercy from Allah. Be kind and have mercy to those on earth, you will find the mercy from the heavens.”

This is another dimension.

Violence

Amongst the problems that we have is violence. This can be domestic violence or general violence. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) taught us. In an authentic hadith, Abu Mas’ud, one of the companions, hit one of his servants. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “O Aba Mas’ud, Allah more power over you than you over him [the slave].” 

Abu Mas’ud said, “I seek refuge in Allah.” Then he said, “O Messenger of Allah, this slave is free for the sake of Allah.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Had you not done that Hell would have been opened for you.”

Whenever there is this kind of violence, remember that Allah has power. Many blessings that Allah has given us, we don’t ask for it, because we don’t even know it is a blessing.

Someone was afflicted with a mild stroke and his eyes stopped blinking. He had to manually blink. Consider how difficult it is for that person to drive, to eat, and to enjoy looking at things. Blinking is a blessing from Allah. When you are upset or angry, and that is leading you to violence remember the above hadith.

Boundaries

‘Aisha said: “The Jews came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said to him, as-Samu ‘alaika (Death be upon you). He replied: Upon you. ‘Aisha said to them: Death be upon you, and may Allah curse you and shower His wrath upon you! The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: Be gentle and calm, O ‘Aisha! Be gentle and beware of being harsh and of saying evil things. She said: Didn’t you hear what they said? He said: Did you not hear what I said? I turned their words on them. And my dua against them will be accepted but theirs against me will not be accepted.”

Do not cross boundaries. Whenever there is wisdom and leniency everything will be beautiful. When you remove that, it will be ugly. Violence is ugly and it makes you ugly and out of control.