Conflict Resolution: Tests in Life
This is the second in a series of articles on the key principles of dealing with conflict in accordance with the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) from the seminar The Prophetic Principles of Conflict Resolution.
We do not control our emotions. Allah says:
وَأَنَّهُۥ هُوَ أَضۡحَكَ وَأَبۡكَىٰ
“And that He alone makes to laugh or cry.” [Quran, 53:43; tr. Keller, Quran Beheld]
Sometimes, pleasing things happen and you feel sad. It is a phenomenon. We see this as well with athletes in a team sport. They just won, everybody’s happy, but someone is sad. Why? They may remember the coach who died, even if he has been dead for 10 years. It is emotions.
We do not control our thoughts. We get all kinds of ideas emerging and that is why conflict resolution is necessary. Whether the conflict is rational (which it rarely is!) or it arises from our emotions, insecurities, whims, or desires, we differ. And the difference gets complicated, particularly when emotions come in.
Sacred Law (Shari‘a) is what Allah has shown to His creation through revelation of how to pursue your ultimate good, whether in your life or pursuit of the Hereafter. Divine guidance gives us principles to deal with these conflicts. The scholars tell us that if you consider the Quran and the Sunna of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) preventing harm takes precedence over the achievement of benefit.
Creation Reflects Divine Wisdom
The prevention of harm has precedence over the achievement of benefit because the good is kind of obvious. The real test where you can really mess things up is with harm, especially when things are negative. Emotions come in, whims come in, desires come in, and then things go out of control and they cloud reason and action.
Allah is the Wise and the way creation reflects Divine wisdom. reflects Divine wisdom so there is a great wisdom and a test in our differences Allah declares in the opening of Sura al-Mulk, and it is not an accident that this is a Surah that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) encouraged us to memorize and he encouraged us to recite on a nightly basis. If you find difficulties in life, recite Sura al-Mulk.
تَبَـٰرَكَ ٱلَّذِى بِيَدِهِ ٱلْمُلْكُ وَهُوَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ قَدِيرٌ
ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ ٱلْمَوْتَ وَٱلْحَيَوٰةَ لِيَبْلُوَكُمْ أَيُّكُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًۭا ۚ وَهُوَ ٱلْعَزِيزُ ٱلْغَفُورُ
“How gloriously exalted in beneficence over all is He in whose hand is alone is Sovereignty; And He has absolute power to do anything. Who created death and life to try you as to which of you is finest in works; And He is the Invincible; the All-forgiving.” [Quran, 67:1-2; tr. Keller, Quran Beheld]
Allah has created everything. The word بلى means to intensely test you. It is meant to be an intense test. How do you respond? That is the wisdom in tests. Most of the tests in life are simple. For example, if you wake up and find that your spouse’s breath is not that great, you cannot really do anything, you cannot pour mouthwash down there so some things, 99% of people will not do anything about. Some tests are straightforward. Others are more testing and some are the critical tests in our lives.
Tests in Life
It is from the mercy of Allah that the tests in life are not actually that many. The purpose of the test is not the test itself. The purpose of the test is simply how you respond to it. Why are you tried? “As to which of you is finest in works.” Which works? In the works by which you respond to whatever Allah sends you as a test. In that sense, you do not control it.
What kind of test would you want if you are a good student? The hard one because if all the questions are easy then you could not be told apart from the slackers. It is the wisdom from Allah that He sends us tests. We know from the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) that if Allah loves a servant, He sends them tests.
He sends them tests as individuals, in relations, and communities. There is no human civilization in the broadest sense that has been tested as much as the Muslims. The black stone was stolen. Hajj has stopped. Blood has flowed down the streets of Jerusalem. No nation has been tested like the nation of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace).
Our Condition
The Prophets (upon them be peace) did not have it easy. They are born in difficulty, they lived difficult lives, and they had trial after trial. Allah says:
وَزُلْزِلُوا۟ حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ ٱلرَّسُولُ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ مَعَهُۥ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّ نَصْرَ ٱللَّهِ قَرِيبٌۭ
“And they were utterly shaken until the very Messenger and those who believed with him said: “‘When is the help to victory from Allah to come?’ Verily the victory from Allah is near!” ” [Quran, 2:214; tr. Keller, Quran Beheld]
That is life. Take the Quran as a mirror in which we see our condition and how we can rectify our condition.
