Should I Stay With My Husband After a Serious Breach of Trust?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
My husband screen-recorded my little sister as she was changing her clothes and was partially naked from our baby camera monitor that she was totally unaware was on. He promised he would change since the last time, but clearly, he hasn’t.
Should I divorce this man? I’m in turmoil with a 1-year-old. What example will he set, and how will it affect my baby? He prays and is kind, but I don’t understand how he can do this after last time, which Usthada Shazia Ahmad also addressed.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
I am sad to hear that something has happened again. You are right; he needs to set an example and will be one for his children, especially as they grow up.
We advise you not to seek a divorce since you have a child. We empathize with your situation; your child will need his father. He needs to work on himself, we pray, and hope that he does so, gradually and in a better, more ideal manner.
Speak to him with wisdom and at the right moment so you can make him acknowledge his actions, come to regret them, and make a firm resolution to change for the better.
Divorce
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce.” [Ibn Maja]
Consider divorce as a last resort. Your husband can be your closest companion with effort, given chance, much dua, and honest emotional growth work. He may not be the husband you wanted, but he is the husband you have.
Perform the Prayer of Need and Guidance as many times as you need. A positive sign could be your husband’s willingness to change his behaviour, or your heart softening towards him.
May Allah Most High make things easy and grant success to your husband in improving himself. May Allah bring happiness and harmony to your marriage so you can all grow together as a family in faith and good deeds. Amin.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. Insha’Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
Related
- Conflict Resolution in Marriage -Sh.Faraz Rabbani
- marriage and divorce Archives – SeekersGuidance
- Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
- The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained – YouTube
- Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms, and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart: Hamza Yusuf
- Prayer of Need (Salat al-Haja)
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersGuidance? You can choose from the Islamic Studies Curriculum and progress through each course step by step.
I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.
