Question: I used to smoke a lot of recreational marijuana and drink alcohol occasionally. By the will of God, I have not touched either in over six years or have any desire or intention to try them again. Should I tell my fiancé about my past with these drugs? I’m afraid of the small chance that she hears from someone else, that she will be extremely saddened and not trust me.
Thank you for your question. First, I want to congratulate you on beating your habit and transforming yourself for the better. May Allah continue to keep you on the right path and increase you in every blessing and goodness.
Hadith on disclosing sins
Abu Hurayra reports that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “All my Community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such, while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they rendered Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning” [Bukhari and Muslim].
The Messenger (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) said, “The one who [sincerely] repents from sin is like the one who has no sin” [Ibn Majah].
Do not inform her
It is not permissible for her to ask about your past or current sins, nor for you to disclose them. You have left the past behind you and it should stay there. If you fear that someone else might disclose it to her, it is permissible to deny it. Fearing another’s action doesn’t permit you to do something impermissible. Ask Allah to keep these sins in the hidden past and to protect you both from its evil consequences.
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.