Will My Future Husband Find Out About My Virginity?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I have committed zina before marriage at the age of 16 and the boy left me. I am no longer a virgin now, what will happen if I marry a guy who is good? What will happen if he gets to know that I’m a non-virgin on the first night of marriage?

Answer

Thank you for your question.

Sister, the most important thing that you must do first is repent. Know that your tawba is always acceptable to Allah and that He is eager to forgive the one who seeks forgiveness. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin” [Ibn Majah].  See this link about repentance:

What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba?

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. So son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it” [Tirmidhi].

You are not obliged to disclose your past sin to your future spouse. It is actually unlawful to tell him because Allah hates that you uncover something that He had covered for you. See this link:

Should I Tell My Spouse About My Relationships Before I Got Married?

As for your husband figuring out that you are not a virgin on the wedding night, I can tell you this: Failure to bleed on the wedding night is not a sign of loss of virginity, nor is it recognized as such in Islamic Law. Please be sure that your future husband knows about the biology of a woman. Hymens are different and every woman’s body reacts differently. If he knows this, he is less likely to judge.

I pray that your future husband does not interrogate you or inquire about your past, either way, you can’t reveal your sin to him. Instead, prepare for marriage, take a course at Seekers, plan to be a kind and loving wife, and pray to Allah that you leave your past behind you, and never repeat such  an action. Please see this link as well:

Can Someone Guilty of Fornication Marry Someone Chaste?

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.