Question: I am a young Muslim man who prays five times a day. I fast and try to follow the sunnah and stay away from haram. Recently I am having a problem with an attraction to one of my coworkers. She is a married Christian woman, and she is also interested in me. I do not talk to her except for work necessities. I want to give Dawah (call) to invite her to Islam and then marry her. Is it permissible? Will it be a violation of her husband’s right?
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration of working with someone who is already taken, and I encourage you to run away as fast as you can from this.
It is lowly and unjust to her husband that you look at or even think of his wife in this way. There is no honor in stealing another man’s wife, and I guarantee you that it will cause nothing but problems. You are not really this woman’s savior, and you should let this woman ruin her life. You wouldn’t just be splitting two people, which Allah hates, but you would split two families. If they have children, your idea is even more reprehensible.
I commend you for only talking to her for work and not breaking the rules of gender interaction. This is difficult, and you have been blessed to follow the Sunnah in this regard. Take your practice of Islam seriously and push away the temptation. It is all lust, not love. Just put yourself in her husband’s shoes and imagine how you would feel.
Look for a girl who is a devoted Muslim, who can teach your children the Qur’an, and has a religious family that will support you and welcomes you with open arms. If you can marry soon, speed up your search and pray to find the right girl for yourself, your family, and your religion.
The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari & Muslim]
Turn to Allah
When you get a thought about her, discard it. When she pops up in your mind, make dhikr or dua. When the Devil whispers a ridiculous idea to you, cast it aside and focus on your goal, and remember Allah. The Devil will eventually tire and leave you alone. In the meantime, try to learn more Islamic knowledge, read more Qur’an with the meaning, spend time with friends and family, and take up beneficial hobbies or learn a skill set. She will eventually be a fleeting thought, and you will be able to move on. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
Please see these links as well
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.