Conflict Resolution: Respect and Anxiety
This is the tenth in a series of articles on the key principles of dealing with conflict in accordance with the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) from the seminar The Prophetic Principles of Conflict Resolution.
Another important point is respect. We have to respect each other even in a time of conflict and there are issues between you and another. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) gave us an amazing example.
In the authentic narration, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) was sitting down and many companions were sitting with him. Among the people that were sitting very close to him was Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him). He was a young child. He was sitting at his right-hand side.
They gave the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) milk, he had a sip, then he looked at this child, he said, “You deserve the first drink after me” [I don’t know if shaykh intends this from the narration:] because you are sitting in my right-hand side but all the elders, your uncles are sitting in my left hand side, “Can you give me a permission to give your uncles first?”
Look at this child, very wise, he said to him, “By Allah O Messenger of Allah, I will never give the chance for anyone to take the blessing of drinking immediate after you.” So the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) gave it to this child. Respect.
When we have a society that respects each other, it is the best way of preventing and solving problems.
Depression and Anxiety
To end, one of the biggest problems of our times is depression and anxiety. Our Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) raised this issue a long time ago. He taught us in the Dua, the very Dua by our master Anas, where reportedly he said, “I was with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) in a journey and the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) was making Dua:
“O Allah, I seek refuge by You from anxiety and sadness.” So when the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) makes Dua that Allah prevents him from this, that shows us it is a big problem.
We need to understand each other when we have problems and to tolerate each other. More than that, to do whatever we can to solve these problems. Among the things that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to help us to solve these problems is what he said when he was asked, “What is the best action?”
He said, “To bring joy and happiness to a heart of a believer.” In another hadith, he said, “Your smile in the face of your brother is Sadaqa.” Imagine if we were to spread this for the sake of Allah.
This is very important. First of all, make Dua that Allah saves us because this has entered every single house.
