Question: I have been married for six years and have two young children. My husband is too controlling and has called me a prostitute and a disobedient wife for wearing light makeup. He forbids me from wearing makeup, just light enough to cover blemishes, in public and at home. His brother and his wife have also spied on me with makeup and have constantly harassed me. Light makeup improves my self-esteem and confidence. I am not allowed to post pictures of myself online neither. I feel suffocated and depressed.
Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you disagree with your husband, and I pray that you can both come up with some compromise with mutual respect and understanding.
My advice to you is to stop applying make-up and listen to your husband for the sake of your marriage. Allah will reward you tremendously for this and improve your relationship. There is nothing more important than that. Please see these links about the rulings:
Improve Your Skin
All this being said, I recommend that you spend your husband’s money on skincare products and work on making your skin healthier. There are many oils and creams out there that contain Vitamin E, Vitamin C, or aloe vera gel that will help your scars disappear over time. Clogging the skin with make-up might just exasperate the issue. Also, consider beautifying yourself with other ways around the house. Spend your money on beautiful clothes to wear at home instead, jewelry and perfume for home.
Communicate with your husband that you will try to listen to him, but ask him to be kind and loving and to give you confidence. Try to understand him and where he is coming from. Try to compromise about wearing make-up at home once a week, but do so tactfully. If he does not budge, listen to him and judge whether you should bother bringing it up with him again later. Generally speaking, if he is not letting you post pictures of yourself online, it is not worth fighting over. See these links:
As for your brother-in-law and his wife, you should tell them to stay out of your matters, and your husband should defend you in this. No one has a right to harass you when you are already dealing with your husband about it. Please take this course to understand your rights and responsibilities within the spirit of an Islamic Marriage:
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next, make your home a loving sanctuary and make you a garment for him, and him a garment for you.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.