Am I Sinful for Unintentionally Hurting the Feelings of My Parents?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question

My question is about whether someone is sinful if they hurt their parents’ feelings without intentionally doing so. I did something I thought my mom would be happy with, and she got very angry at me. Am I sinful? I swear by Allah Most High, that if I had known it would hurt her feelings, I would have stopped immediately. But I didn’t have the slightest clue.

I want to know because I am trying to rectify the situation as much as I can already, but this is hurting me very much. My sister says that it’s not just the intention that counts but the execution of your actions as well. But while I was doing this, I didn’t know my actions were being hurtful in any way. Please answer as soon as you can.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

Unintentionally hurting your parent’s feelings is not sinful. The Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “All actions are based on their intentions.” [Bukhari]

With that being said, it is certainly a point of praiseworthy caution to avoid any possibility of offending one’s parents, even if small. If one hurts their parent’s feelings unintentionally they should immediately seek their parent’s forgiveness in a humble and respectful manner.

Kindly check these links for further information:
Rights of Parents
How Can I Take Care Of My Parents?
What Constitutes Disobeying One’s Parents (’Uquq al-Walidayn)?
Am I Sinful For Always Making Mistakes That Displease My Parents?

Hope this helps
Allah A’lam

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Qur’anic exegesis, Islamic history, and a number of texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.