What Are the Rulings for Specific Sexual Activities between Married Couples?
Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
What are the legal limits of the Sacred law regarding marital intercourse and specific sexual activities like using sex toys, anal insertion, inserting sexual objects, or the wife dominating the husband?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
The rulings on sex toys vary based on certain factors discussed below. However, they should never be allowed to replace normal sexual intercourse.
The anal cavity is a path of impurity. Any insertion is strictly prohibited, even if one takes steps to clean the area. If the contact is limited to the external area of the anus, such that there is no insertion – it is permitted (though discouraged) to touch that area as long as no impurities are present. [Kawthari, Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations]
This applies to a finger, a sexual toy, or other object. [Ibid.]
Exceptions are for medical treatments such as suppositories or enemas. [Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]
Inserting Sexual Objects
Please have a look at this link for details on this.
Wife Dominating the Husband
As long as the sexual activities remain within the limits of the Sacred Law, such activities would be in the realm of permissibility.
Despite this, one should strive to uphold dignity and decorum during marital relations.
Many of these abnormal sexual activities are put forth by very spiritually sick and sometimes evil people. Much of these things come from the pornography industry, which is deeply tied to sexual slavery and trafficking.
As much as is possible for us to distance ourselves from such practices and disassociate ourselves from imitating such people – we must.
Out of everything above that is within the limits of permissibility, there still remain two conditions that apply to all the above:
- Every activity must be consensual;
- Whatever activity is done, it must not be cause of harm to either party. This is regardless of whether the harm is physical, mental, emotional, or harmful to one’s health. [Kawthari, Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations]
You correctly pointed out that many people are exposed to much of the dark and evil practices being spread in the world and that the lesser of two evils is that even if they are going to do such activities, they do them with their spouse.
This is true, but as a community (umma), we must strive to rid ourselves of such debauchery and draw nearer to the enlightened Prophetic example. This is a dictate of our faith.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “None of you has perfect faith until their desires are in alignment with what I have brought.” [Nawawi, al-Arba‘in al-Nawawiyya]
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch teaches Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences.
He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he studied for three years in Dar al-Mustafa under some of the most outstanding scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib.
In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Quran and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.