Should The Husband Guide His Wife Morally?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question

How do we understand statements such as, “the husband should correct his wife’s morals”; or “the husband should teach the wife the rulings of menstruation”?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

Hierarchy of Genders

In Islam, there is no hierarchy of genders in regards to value or virtue. Each gender is equal before Allah Most High and are only judged on the basis of righteousness.

Allah Most Highs says, “The believers, both men and women, are guardians of one another. They encourage good and forbid evil, establish prayer and pay alms-tax, and obey Allah and His Messenger. It is they who will be shown Allah’s mercy. Surely Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.” [Quran, 9:71]

Rights According to Accountability

In regards to a marriage setting, each spouse has certain responsibilities that they are accountable for. According to these responsibilities, each is given certain related rights.

For example, the husband is responsible for the safety and wellbeing of his wife. Because of this responsibility, he has the right to withhold consent if she wants to go somewhere where she may be unsafe. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

However, he does not have the right, whatsoever, to limit her freedoms in an absolute sense, especially when leaving relates to her own rights.

Speaking to the Context

It is each individual’s responsibility to seek Sacred knowledge by which they can fulfill their religious obligations. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Seeking knowledge is an obligation for every Muslim.” [Tabarani]

In addition, it is an obligation on the husband to facilitate access to this type of knowledge for his wife and children, if there is no way for them to access it on their own. He is either required to teach them directly or bring in someone who can teach them, even if this means he has to hire someone. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Many of these rulings were dispensed at a time where it was unsafe (and culturally uncommon) for a woman to freely travel around in pursuit of knowledge. Also, many women at that time, did not prefer (although they had the option) to leave the homes. In such a situation, many women were only able to learn via what their husbands taught them – thus, the responsibility fell on the husband.

Our Context

In today’s context, in many places, women do travel freely and are safe while doing so. Therefore, there is nothing wrong for her to directly seek Sacred knowledge.

Hope this helps

Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Qur’anic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.