Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
I was getting waswas and I really got frustrated and said in my heart I did not say it from my tongue but said in my heart a kufr about the existence of Allah. I was also fasting so does it count as kufr? And will it break my fast?
I pray you are well.
Turn Back to Allah
If you said it deliberately then the statement may have been kufr. I advise you to repent to Allah, and reaffirm your faith. It that was the case it would have invalidated your fast.
However, it you were getting repeated thoughts, and that had a hand in the matter maybe that might present some form of excuse for you. Allah knows best.
Allah has said, ”Say, [O Messenger] ‘O My dear servants who excessively wronged themselves – do no despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed He forgives all sins! Truly, He is the All-Forgiving, Ever-Merciful.” (Qur’an, 39:53)
Seek Help and Healing
Your waswasa is a problem. It could be a form of OCD called Intrusive Thoughts. You need to find someone who can help you. I advise you to start with this seminar. Listen to it and look for a form of therapy to help you heal. It’s very possible.
Find a local scholar and ask him to clarify any problems you have about faith. May Allah make it easy for you.
Also, take a course on belief with us. A sound basis in belief, clarified by an experienced teacher is essential to be rooted in belief. I’d also avoid debates and researching into things that will feed your doubts.
May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History, he moved to Damascus in 2007, where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital. He was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.