Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
If you made a dua against a close family member because they hurt your feelings, but now you regret it and feel guilty, will that dua still be accepted? There is a hadith that says the dua of the oppressed is answered. Although the family member did say rude words to me and hurt my feelings, this is something that is really common between family members. I love them wholeheartedly and never want that negative dua to get accepted.
But because the dua of the oppressed is always answered, I feel hopeless and don’t know how to take my bad dua back. There is also a hadith that angels say amin to whatever you pray for yourselves. This has really scared me because I wanted their bad for my good in my dua, but now I don’t.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and for seeking guidance and advice.
No one with a sincere heart truly wishes to inflict Allah’s curse and anger upon their loved ones. It is often when one is abused or dishonored that it happens uncontrollably. Nevertheless, the dua can come true if we say it, and this can cause deep regret or remorse. So just as you made a dua against them, keep making dua for them continuously. This will rectify and redress it, in sha’ Allah.
Patience and Forgiveness – Act of True Resolve
Allah Most High says, “And whoever endures patiently and forgives—surely this is a resolve to aspire to.” [Quran, 42:43]
Ideally, if a person hurts one’s feelings, one should make dua for them – that Allah Most High helps them and forgives them. People make mistakes, and we should overlook their faults, just like we hope that they overlook ours. The believer loves his brother what he loves for himself. [Muslim]
Enemies Become Friends by Forgiveness
‘Ali Ibn Abi Talha (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) said, “Allah Most High has commanded patience at a time of anger, and forbearance and forgiveness at a time of being wronged. If they do so, Allah will protect them from Satan and subdue their enemies such that they become like dear friends.” [Tabari, Tafsir al-Tabari]
Thus, we should be careful of what we say in a state of anger so as not to inflict pain upon our loved ones, as well as upon ourselves.
May Allah Most High inspire us with supplications that are pleasing to Him.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction, in sha’ Allah.
- Anger – The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained. [Video]
- The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained. [Lecture Series]
- Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms, and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart by Hamza Yusuf.
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I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.