Is It Permissible Not to Share How Much I Earn with My Family?
Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan
Question
Is it permissible not to share how much I earn or receive in charity with my family? I wish to conceal this from my family, fearing that they may take advantage of me or become jealous.
Answer
Thank you for your question.
A person is not obligated to declare their salary to their family. Similarly, their family does not have the right to use their wealth without their permission or pleasure. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said in a sound hadith, “The wealth of a Muslim person is not permissible (for another) without his pleasure.” [Ahmad; Bayhaqi; others]
Having said that, it is important to know that not informing one’s family about one’s earnings does not absolve one from taking care of them and paying maintenance. A husband is always under a duty to maintain his wife, and a man is obliged to maintain his parents if they are not able to maintain themselves.
It is also important to consider the customs of the community. If it is customary for a son or daughter to inform their parents about their income, and if this is regarded as a way of showing them honor and respect, one is encouraged to do so as far as possible. If informing them will lead to any type of injustice, such as the concerns you raise in your question, it may be best to speak to one’s parents, explaining the problems that are arising on account of revealing the income and informing them that one has chosen to conceal it.
This should all be done in a way that ensures that the family does not feel disrespected or dishonored.
And Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan received ijaza ‘amma from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib ‘Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.
