Why Are Women Cursed for Abusing Their Husbands?
Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Question
Why is it that there are narrations that the maidens of Paradise and Angels curse women who are abusive to their husbands, but there is no similar punishment for husbands who are abusive to their wives?
As men know when they are abused, there are angles and hoors to curse which gives them a great deal of comfort. But now, when I know this does not apply to abused women, I feel when I am abused, I am left alone. Why is Allah angrier when the man is being abused and causes the wife to be cursed but is less angry at a man and no single angle curses him?
In this case, can a woman curse him and wish that all creation curses him and that Allah deprives him of hoors and all his good deeds? Why is Allah wants women to be cursed but not men? It is only fair if someone curses the man.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
Any and all injustice whether from the wife to the husband or from the husband to the wife is cursed. The definition of “cursed” is to be distanced from the mercy of Allah Most High.
It seems that you have only been exposed to the narrations regarding wives, however, there are narrations addressing the husbands as well. Some of them are mentioned below:
Oppression
Allah Most High has made men caretakers of their spouses. Allah Most High says, “Men are the caretakers of women (…)” [Quran, 4:34]
If instead of caring for her, he violates his responsibility by abusing her or oppressing, whether verbally, emotional, physically, sexually, or otherwise – all the verses rebuking oppression and the threats that were made for committing them will apply to such a person.
Allah Most High says, “As for those who abuse believing men and women unjustifiably, they will definitely bear the guilt of slander and blatant sin.” [Quran, 33:58]
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The Muslim is the brother (or sister) of the Muslim. Every Muslim is sacred to the other in their honor, their wealth, and their blood… It is sufficient evil for one to belittle another Muslim.” [Tirmidhi]
The Curse of Allah
Allah Most High says, “They will reply, ‘Yes, we have!’ Then a caller will announce to both, ‘May Allah’s condemnation be upon the wrongdoers, (…)’” [Quran, 7:44]
Despite, the various narrations where the Angels curse the disobedient wife, this does not mean that the husband can mistreat the wife without dire consequences. Any injustice or oppression towards the wife would fall under the general warning against oppression and wrongdoing in the Qur’an.
Allah Most High says, “Do not think that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers do. He only delays them until a Day when ˹their˺ eyes will stare in horror.” [Quran, 14:42]
No Harm Nor Harming
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “There is no harming of other nor allowing oneself to be harmed.” [Nawawi, al-Arba’in al-Nawawiyya]
Just as it is prohibited to harm another person, it is prohibited to allow oneself to be harmed. If you are being physically, emotionally, and/or sexuallly abused you must seek help and take yourself out of that situation.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Quran and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and a number of texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.
