Why Do Hurs Get Upset When Their Husbands on Earth Are Sad, but Not for Women?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel


I’ve read in several places and hadiths that Hur al-’Ayn are very upset when their husbands are upset or hurt in this world. This is beneficial for men because it provides comfort when they are upset. Is there anyone who gets upset when a woman is sad or hurt? If not, why is it only for men?

Does this imply that hurting or abusing a woman is less valuable than hurting or abusing a man?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are well.

Have faith and be convinced women have immense value and status in the eyes of Allah Most High. If a man is genuinely hurt by his spouse and he gets a reward as mentioned in the hadith, it does not mean he will enter Paradise, he will have to go through the grave and beyond the various stages of the Afterlife and get a Hur al-‘Ayn. Similarly, if a reward is not mentioned upon a genuine upset situation of a woman it does not mean she will not be rewarded. She will be, no doubt, unimaginably rewarded.

Wordly Life: Full of Emotions, Afterlife: No Emotions at All

The Afterlife is a place of no emotion. Everyone will be rewarded justly and with Allah Most High’s grace immeasurably. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), told us, “Allah says: ‘I have prepared for My righteous slaves that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and it has never crossed the mind of man.’” [Ibn Majah]

Higher Status of Worldly Women in Paradise

One has to remember, a woman in Paradise will have a higher status than the Hur al-‘Ayn, it will not cross her mind of what her husband gets. She will be completely satisfied of her state in Paradise, and no doubt will be rewarded for her grief and trouble if it was given by her husband.

Men Are and Will Be Held Accountable for Their Actions, Too, Severely

Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Among the greatest of sins to Allah is that a man marries a woman and, when he fulfills his needs with her, he divorces her and leaves with her dowry. And that a man employs another man and leaves without paying him, and finally one who kills an animal for fun.” [Bayhaqi, Sunan al-Kubra]

Allah Enjoins Goodness to Women, Family Members

Miqdam ibn Ma’dikarib (Allah be pleased with him) reported the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, Allah enjoins you to be good to women. Verily, Allah enjoins you to be good to women, for they are your mothers, your sisters, and your aunts.” [Tabarani, al-Mu’jam al-Kabir]

Let me end with this beautiful hadith. All men and women are equal except in piety and good actions.

Allah Reveals Verses to include Women

Umm ‘Umara (Allah be pleased with her) reported she came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and she said, “I do not see anything but for men, and I do not see anything mentioned for women.” Thus, the verse was revealed, “Verily, the Muslim men and women, the believing men and women, the obedient men and women, the truthful men and women, the patient men and women, the humble men and women, the charitable men and women, the fasting men and women, the chaste men and women, the men and women who remember Allah often, Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward.” [Quran, 33:35] [Tirmidhi]

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I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.