Breaking Off an Engagement Due to Revealing Sins

Answered by Dr. Bano Murtuja

Question: I disclosed some of my past including sexual abuse from family when I was very young and sins I’ve done in the past.  Later after researching the issue I learned that it is sinful to reveal your sins.  My fiance doesn’t mind and she respects my honestly, but I’m uncomfortable now with this sin I’ve committed and I feel humiliated in front of my fiance.  Allah hid my mistakes and I revealed them.  Now I feel the relationship is based on something haram and I’m thinking of breaking it off.  What should I do?

Answer: Walaikum Salam Brother

I pray this finds you in the best of health and states.

Please forgive me for the delay in responding to your mail.

The veils placed over our sins by Allah are indeed a blessing, and as such should not be lifted. However, in your case, you spoke to your fiancé in ignorance of this, and as such there is no blame.

One should remember that what you are experiencing is waswasa (baseless misgivings). These can create doubt and feelings of discontent where there are none.

It is important that one does not act on such misgivings, as doing so simply makes it easier for one to be attacked by them.

[1] One should make sincere dua to Allah, and ask for protection from these misgivings. Allah alone grants success.

[2] One should make constant remembrance of Allah (Exalted be He), as this acts as a protection against such whisperings.

[3] One should seek sacred knowledge, as this will provide a better understanding of ones faith and its prescripts.

Please see the following answers for more advice on waswasa: A Reader on Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings)

I pray your marriage is one of ease and facilitation.

Ma’salam

Bano