Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam
Question: Assalam alaykum
My husband never showed much kindness and care towards me. He also has been abusive. I asked him for divorce and since then I can’t see him as a husband anymore. My family used the kids to pressure me to stay married but I do not love my husband.
Are they allowed to force me to go back with him?
Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
No, you do not have to remain in the marriage if it is not working, and nobody can force you to stay. However, and given the sensitivities of such situations, I’d recommend that you consult with a local scholar who can ensure that things end [if needed] in a reasonable and dignified manner.
Remaining in an unhappy and unpleasant marriage is not praiseworthy, nor expected. Staying will have an impact on the children just as separation will. Similarly, marriage is a team effort where both parties have rights and responsibilities, and you are supposed to be in a state of worship. If things aren’t working, you need to reconsider the value of such a relationship.
Consider also discussing your situation with a counsellor. May Allah Most high grant you every success and facilitation.
Please also see: Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersHub Reader
And Allah Most High knows best.
[Ustadh] Tabraze Azam
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadh Tabraze Azam holds a BSc in Computer Science from the University of Leicester, where he also served as the President of the Islamic Society. He memorised the entire Qur’an in his hometown of Ipswich at the tender age of sixteen, and has since studied the Islamic Sciences in traditional settings in the UK, Jordan and Turkey. He is currently pursuing advanced studies in Jordan, where he is presently based with his family.