Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari
Question: My Iman has really hit rock bottom. I pray 5 times a day only because its fard, not out of desire of passion. Before I used to passionately wake up for tahajjud and Fajr, now even waking up for Fajr is difficult. Before I used to make all the sunnahs, fards and nawafil. Now I just want to make the fard and run off. Also, there are serious domestic violations in my household. I completely dislike my father, and I absolutely detest to even look at him. I realize this is wrong and I fear that perhaps Allah has turned his back on me because of how I turned by back on my father. Could you tell me what I can do to elevate my iman to how it once upon a time used to be?
Answer: Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you and your family well.
Thank you for your question.
Our iman can ebb and flow, often based on what is happening around us.
Even the strongest people need a good support system and a shoulder to cry on when things become difficult.
I feel that your situation may be a result of the violence in your household. If your father is abusing you or your family members, then you need to seek help from the proper authorities.
While it is true that in some cases it is better to exercise sabr (patience) with a family member, it is never okay to be abused or tolerate others to be abused.
Keep on praying but don’t try to make your day so regimented that you feel compelled to write down every act of worship. Let the recording angels do this for you. Perform your dua, dhikr, and nawafil because it is the right thing to do and gives solace to your heart.
And please try to seek help for your household.
May Allah Ta’ala give you ease.