Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I know that my intentionally missed prayers from the past do not make me a disbeliever. However, I can’t shake this feeling. Also, my male cousin combined the prayer with a popular song at the time which made me laugh. Also my female cousin made a comment about the Hijab which made me laugh. Lastly, in the past I made some comments about death, that I think were extremely problematic and may constitute disbelief. Has any of these things made me a disbeliever?
Answer: Assalam alaykum. Jazakum Allah khayr for your question.
Dear sister, what you are experiencing is whisperings from the devil and you need to brush off these thoughts once and for all. The trick of the devil is to get you so stuck and worried that you cannot move forward. The end goal? To give up the religion all together. Throw the thoughts off and prove the devil wrong by working on your faith through knowledge, observing the obligations of the religion, and reading the Qur’an.
Misgivings about Disbelief
Belief is not negated through uncertainty. However, even if we hypothetically assume you did say or do something that resulted in disbelief, as this is what your mind will persist in believing, then in reality, what can you do about past mistakes? What’s said has been said and all there is left to do now is know how to move on.
Allah Most High says, ‘O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins) Despair not of the mercy of Allah; verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful’. [39:53].
The above verse includes even disbelief if one repents. Therefore, if it helps and you cannot help shake off these thoughts, then simply say the Shahada, pray two cycles of the prayer of repentance, make du’a to Allah to forgive you, and then you are free and can move on.
Whenever a doubt comes to you, say the following du’a and move on,
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
آمَنْتُ بِاللهِ وَرُسُلِهِ
هُوَ الأَوَّلُ وَالآخِرُ وَالظَّاهِرُ وَالبَاطِنُ وَهُوَ بِكُلِّ شَيءٍ عَلِيْمٌ
I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil. I have believed in Allah and His Messenger. He is The First and The Last, The Perceptible and The Imperceptible, and He knows well all things. [Hisnul Hasin]
One of the main ways to strengthen one’s faith is to learn about the religion. I highly recommend you look at the SeekersHub course page and consider taking a course in essential beliefs.
May Allah protect you and grant you all the best.
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah
Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.