How to Solve the Problem With Prolonged Engagements

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: Assalaam alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

I am recently engaged, alhamdulillaah.  Unfortunately, for logistical reasons, we will not be able to get married for another year.  We are thinking about doing a nikkah sometime in the middle, but it is not feasible at this moment.

As she is in a different state, we talk on the phone, but we are concerned about appropriate interaction, considering we are not married yet.  We are concerned about talking too much, but I think there’s also a concern that we do not want to just stop talking altogether.  Can you please advise.  JazaakamAllaahu khayran.

Answer: Dear Brother,

Assalamu alaikum,

Congratulations on your engagement!

Prolonged engagements inevitably lead to this type of concern.

My suggestion is to hasten the nikah and perhaps delay the walimah if finances are an issue.

The nikah is quite simple and can be done in the presence of the woman’s guardian, two witnesses, and the Imam. After that, you are free to talk as much as you like.

May Allah reward you,

Zaynab Ansari