Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I’m seeking advice for my friend. She is married to a man who is having doubts about Islam, he wants to leave the folds of Islam and she can’t understand why as he was a practicing Muslim. My friend has been talking to him gently and encouraging him to talk to a scholar but he refuses.
Can you please advise what my friend what should do?
She says if he doesn’t practice Islam then she doesn’t want children with
him and therfore will have to leave him.
Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Someone who is wrestling deal internal conflicts needs to be given space. Continually trying to change them or attack the change that they are heading towards is often not a good idea. The first thing I would do is just let him thinks things through for a long time: ‘Deliberation is from Allah, and hastiness is from the Devil.’ [Tirmidhi]
Finding the root of the problem
It is also worth indirectly trying to find out what his problem really is. Does he feel let down by a religious figure? Confused by politics in the Muslim world? Stuck on some problem with fate, or some rules in Islam?
To be quite frank, people have doubts about Islam for some very paltry reasons. When left to fester, they turn out to be huge problems, even though they could be answer with very little effort from a trained scholar.
If things continue indefinitely, and he says or does something that demonstrates very clearly that he no longer believes in Islam, you must go to scholar. She has to ascertain whether or not it is permissible to remain with him. She should not act upon her own gut instinct: this is a legal matter.
Once this is clear, she must sit down with him and explain to him very clearly what the significance of his actions/beliefs means. She must tell him that once he clearly leaves Islam, then she will be in her waiting period, and once that is over, they will no longer be married.
I pray this helps, and I pray that her husband becomes stronger in the religion.
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle
Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.
Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.
In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed.