I Became Muslim and Am Now Lonely and Depressed. What Can I Do?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: I converted to Islam when I was 19 but have only started practising it sincerely this past Ramadan. Since then, I have been a depressive wreck and intensely lonely. I have no friends nor family members to speak to. I feel even more of an orphan after practicing Islam. What do I need to heal my soul?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah lift the anguish from your heart and replace it with tranquility and contentment.
Dear brother, what you are experiencing is too common amongst reverts/converts to Islam. It is natural to want the support and companionship of family and friends, especially as a newly practising Muslim. Ours is a deen embedded in the social fabric of families and communities. It is a very, very difficult path to tread alone. I pray that Allah eases your loneliness and grants you the companionship which you seek.
Hope in Allah
“Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, “When (will come) the Help of Allah?” Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!” [Qur’an, 2:214]
You are not alone in your tribulation. Please have hope that Allah’s help is near.
Also, please remember that even the love of family and friends comes with trials. Often, the hardest trials stems from those closest to us. There is no lasting for heartache in this dunya except the remembrance of Allah.
1) Please perform the Prayer of Need in the last third of the night and beg Allah for the love and support that you need. Trust that Allah will answer your dua.
2) Guard your prayers and increase your acts of worship.
3) Give in charity and ask Allah to ease your trial.
4) Please read Surah Yusuf to help lift your sadness.
5) Make an effort to make friends from a range of different social circles. Can you connect with people at your work, your local community centre, the masjid or elsewhere?
6) Do you have any family members who live near you? If so, try to reach out to your biological family, unless they are actively hostile (e.g. verbally or physically abusive).
7) Join a volunteering organisation with the multiple intention of serving others as well as making friends e.g. soup kitchen, local community garden etc.
8) Start a new hobby that involves interacting with others e.g. book club, painting etc.
9) Consider seeing a therapist to help you cope with your feelings of depression.
Please refer to the following links:
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Harms of Aloneness: The Prophet’s Firm Discouragement of Living or Travelling Alone
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani