I Get Easily Annoyed. Am I Ready to Get Married?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam aleykum,
I have been approached by a good man for marriage, but lately I have been questioning if I am even ready for marriage. Sometimes I get annoyed over silly things and lack patience. What should I do?
Answer: Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.
Patience
Patience is a virtue which you can cultivate over time, especially within marriage. Please know and accept that losing your patience and having conflict in your marriage is normal. It’s how you cope with it that matters.
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Marriage
It was narrated from Mus’ab bin Sa’d that his father, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas, said: “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him.’” [Sunan Ibn Majah]
Alhamdulillah, doing the marriage course is a step forward in the right direction. I pray that it will help you understand the spirit and the law behind a successful Islamic marriage.
It is praiseworthy to intend marriage as a means of attaining closeness to Allah. Because of your high intention, please know that you and your husband will be tested. This is the nature of the dunya; difficulties hurt, help us grow, and when handled well, can bring us closer to Allah.
Prayer of Guidance
Everything going smoothly is a sign that your istikhara is positive.
I pray that Allah facilitates your marriage, blesses you and your husband with a tranquil marriage, and gifts you with pious and loving children.
Please see:
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checkedand Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.
