Answered by Shaykh Faraz A. Khan
Question: I had a very small period of time where I had relief from blasphemous thoughts I was having. Now the terrible thoughts are back and they are worse. They have a terrible effect on my imaan and I feel empty I remember Allah and I feel no joy when I think about his greatness. They are very bad when I pray, but I still pray. It is hard to persevere though. Now I started delaying my prayers because I know I will get these thoughts when I start praying. I am scared that Allah might count that I did shirk because the thought entered my mind when I was in the act of praying. I have been begging Allah for His help, sometimes I think that I know relief will come but then I think how dare I think Allah will help me now that I have become so wretched. I feel like such a prisoner in this dunya now and I feel as though my chances of jannah are ruined
Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,
I pray this finds you in the best of health and states.
The thoughts you mention are from the devil, so be vigilant in ignoring them. Give them no weight whatsoever. Your disgust of them are indications that you are a true believer, alhamdulillah. Your chances for Paradise (jannah) are by no means ruined.
Disgust of Bad Thoughts as a Sign of Faith
Imam Muslim narrates in his Sahih collection that some of the Companions of the Prophet (Allah bless
him and give him peace) came and asked him, “We find in ourselves [thoughts] that any of us would consider too enormous to even mention.” He (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “And you all have found it?” and they said yes. He said, “That is pure faith.” Imam Nawawi clarifies, “Considering it too enormous to mention is pure faith.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
Shaykh Nuh Keller comments, “As long as one has fear and disgust for passing thoughts of unbelief (kufr) and the like and does not make them convictions, they do no harm.” [Sea Without Shore]
The Vastness of Divine Mercy
I would specifically advise you to relax and focus on Allah’s unimaginable mercy, of which He states, “Your Lord has prescribed mercy upon Himself” (6:54). He has not described any other divine attribute in this manner.
Our Masters explain that one of the reasons Allah describes Himself as “The All-merciful” (al-Rahman) in the verse, “The All-merciful has assumed the throne” (20:5) is that just as the entire cosmos is like a speck in an ocean compared to Allah’s throne, so too is the throne like a speck in an ocean compared to Allah’s vast mercy. Never despair, and always keep the best opinion of Allah.
Our Master Ibn Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him) used to frequently say, “I swear to Allah, no person ever maintained a good opinion of Allāh save that Allah in fact blessed him accordingly,” based on the hadith qudsi related by Imam Bukhari, in which Allah Himself says, “I am in the opinion of My servant.”
Whatever good we think of Allah, that — and even better — is what we shall find inshaAllah. Keep up your prayers, perform them on time, and focus on Allah’s vast mercy and love.
Please also see these related answers (as well as the many answers on waswasa):
And Allah knows best.
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani