Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam aleykum,
I used to watch pornography, repent, and do it again. I made dua for Allah to help me, and I ended up having an incurable condition in my private parts. I fear that Allah is angry with me, and that I will never be cured. What can I do?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.
Please refer to this invaluable website: Purify Your Gaze. You are not alone, and this program will help connect you to others on your road to recovery.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be blessings and peace) said: “Allah created a hundred mercies, and He placed one mercy among his creation, they show mercy to one another by it, and there are ninety-nine mercies with Allah.” [Tirmidhi]
For as long as you are alive, the doors of repentance are open for you. Allah knows how much you are suffering, and He is there for you. Please bear with this tribulation with patience.
Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” [Bukhari]
Please see a doctor, psychologist and nutritionist and seek out a holistic program to help in your recovery. When Allah afflicts you with a condition, see it as a means of expiation, and a way for you to draw closer to Him.
Please nourish yourself spiritually with regular prayer, fasting, charity, dhikr, Quranic recitation.
I pray that Allah grants you healing, patience, and success in this life and the next.
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.