Answered by Sidi Abdullah Anik Misra
Question: I’ve recently come back from performing Umrah. Alhamdulilah, it was absolutely amazing but now that I’m home I feel so restless and always upset and in a depressed-like state. Everything seems a lot harder, especially in my personal and family life. There seems to more problems financially as well. I know I shouldn’t despair and I should have complete faith and conviction in Allah but I do see that all the supplications I made for people coming true for them but mine haven’t. I don’t know how to change the feelings I have. I pray a lot more, I recite the Qu’ran as much as I can but I still feel the same. Is there any advice you can give me?
Answer: Wa alaikum salam,
Congrats on your Umrah; may Allah Most High accept it.
I am not sure if there are any physical reasons or mental factors for why you feel the way you do. However, its natural after such a religious experience, especially if it was a getaway from a difficult period in life, that when you return, you feel spiritual deprivation and that make you feel down or less spiritual. The Companions used to complain about that, so you are not alone.
Remember, you probably grew stronger in faith on your Umrah. Thus, tests may increase too as you grow in your faith. So finances may seem tighter, duas may seem longer to come, family may be giving problems… but Allah Most High only sends something your way because He knows you can handle it. Thus, its all about your mentality.
Just like at Umrah, in our daily lives we need to put ourselves in front of the Lord of the Ka’abah. We need to think back to our visitation to Mecca, and ask ourselves if we returned with a tidbit of the character and patience of the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace).
Don’t be hasty in your supplications (du`as). They can be answered in many ways, not just by you seeing the result you want. It could be that a calamity averted, or something better for you is given, especially in the Hereafter. Don’t compare with others’ supplications, or your supplications for for them, being answered – Allah is giving each person exactly what they need, not more or less at any time.
Don’t ask Allah because you want to get; ask Allah because He loves to be asked, because He deserves to be asked, and because you love Him. Servanthood is not an A + B = C relationship; its all about mercy – pure generosity and mercy. You can try to do a lot of outward worship to fix this issue, but until this pure love, humbled submission to His will and self-effacing servanthood takes hold of your heart and permeates your worship to Allah, the true peace that will solve your worries will not imbue your life.
I want to thank you for giving me this chance to address myself first and foremost. Words are words but realities- only Allah knows them.
Abdullah Anik Misra
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani