I Did Something to Hurt My Friend in the Past. Should I Tell Her?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: I did something to hurt my friend in the past, when we weren’t in contact. Now we’re friends again, and I feel so guilty. Should I tell her what I did?

Answer:Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking out a solution for your dilemma.

Moving forward

Allah Most High says: “Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!” [Qur’an, 13:28]

There is no need for you to disclose what you did to your friend. Rather, do everything in your power to rectify and heal your friendship. Give her gifts, make dua for her, and be of service to her.

Additionally, please increase your acts of worship – guard your prayers, increase in recitation of Qur’an, give in charity, and be of service to others.

The beauty of repentance is that your slate is wiped clean. Don’t let shaytan trick you into despair. When you are struck with feelings of guilt, immediately make dua for Allah to forgive you, and to settle your heart. He is the Turner of hearts, and only He can lift your sadness. I pray that He eases your sorrow, and replaces it with tranquility.

Please see:

Is It Permissible to Lie In Order to Conceal Past Sins?
A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)


Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Photo: Asim Bharwani