What Are the Foundations for Building Islamic Character for Children?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, his companions, and those who follow him.

The first area among the areas that we should work on in order to build Islamic character for the child:

1) The creed of the child, and there are a number of foundations through which building the creed of the child can be achieved, including: instilling the word of tawhid in the child; consolidating the love of Allah (Most High) and His Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace), his pure family, and his noble companions in the heart of the child; teaching him the Holy Quran and the noble Hadith; and emphasizing the importance of steadfastness on the faith and sacrificing for it.

2) The development of worship, which includes a number of matters, including: teaching the child prayer, connecting him with the mosque, training him on fasting, and the importance of Hajj and Zakat.

3) The social development of the child, which has some of the most important foundations:

– Taking him to gatherings of elders

– Sending him to fulfill needs

– Accustoming him to the tradition of greeting with the salam

– Choosing friends for him from among other children

– Getting him used to buying and selling

Perhaps one of the most prominent hadiths that present to us a practical model of the Prophet’s social interaction (Allah bless him and give him peace) with children is the hadith “O Abu Umayr, what happened to the little bird?”

4) Moral development, which necessitates teaching the child various types of prophetic manners and ethics for children, such as:

– Proper conduct towards parents

– Proper conduct towards scholars

– The etiquette of respect and veneration

– The etiquette of listening while the Quran is being recited

– The virtue of honesty and trustworthiness

– The virtue of purging one’s heart of grudges

– Indeed, the hadith: Anas ibn Malik, Allah be pleased with him, said: “I served the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), for ten years, and by Allah, he never said ‘Uff’ to me…” reveals to us a practical example of the Prophet’s character (Allah bless him and give him peace) with children.

5) Emotional and psychological development is a fundamental matter in a child’s life, as they need: compassion and mercy, playfulness and joking, gifts and presents, stroking their head, receiving them well, checking on their condition, and asking about them.

6) Physical development of the child, which includes learning swimming, archery, horseback riding, wrestling, and running, and conducting sports competitions among children.

7) Scientific and intellectual development of the child, as it is the child’s right upon us to help them:

Proper upbringing has many means; some of the most important are:

1- Seeking Allah’s help in their upbringing and praying for them:

No matter how much effort the parents put into raising the children, they cannot do without the success granted by Allah, for guidance is in His hands. Therefore, supplication is essential, along with working towards guidance.

The importance of supplication for the rectitude of children is why prophets and righteous people were keen on it. Abraham, Allah give him peace, said: “My Lord! Bless me with righteous offspring.” [Quran 37:100]; and he said: “My Lord! Make me and those ˹believers˺ of my descendants keep up prayer. Our Lord! Accept my prayers.” [Quran 14:40].

And here is Zechariah, Allah give him peace, asking Allah for a righteous offspring “So grant me, by Your grace, an heir, who will inherit ˹prophethood˺ from me and the family of Jacob, and make him, O  Lord, pleasing ˹to You˺!” [Quran, 19: 5, 6].

2- Raising them upon the correct creed:

Indeed, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) was careful to teach children the creed and raise them on iman. He said to Ibn Abbas: “O young man, I will teach you some words: Be mindful of Allah, and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask Allah, and if you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with something Allah had already prescribed for you, and if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” [Tirmidhi]

3- Accustoming them to the performance of acts of worship:

Among the means of raising children is to habituate them to doing good deeds and performing acts of worship, so that they get used to them from a young age.

The Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Instruct your children to perform prayer when they are seven years old, and spank them [for not performing it] when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.” [Abu Dawud]

Similarly, they should be made accustomed to fasting before puberty if they are able to endure it, as the companions of the Prophet would do with their children, making them fast, and if one of them cried, they would give him a toy to distract him. [Bukhari, Muslim]

And so with the rest of the acts of worship, we accustom them to it, so when they grow up, it becomes easy for them to perform and preserve.

4- Encouraging them to follow Islamic manners:

Just as the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) taught Amr ibn Abi Salama (Allah be pleased with him) the manners of eating, as he relates: “I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) and my hand would scatter around the plate, so the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to me: ‘Boy, mention the name of Allah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you,’ and since then that has been my way of eating,” meaning my method and approach to eating. [Bukhari, Muslim]

5- Keeping them away from bad companions and warning them against them:

Part of the care for children is to protect them from bad companions, whether those they sit with or those who might contact them through social media, because in a single encounter, a bad friend can destroy what parents and educators have built over years.

The Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad one is like that of the perfume seller and the blacksmith. The perfume seller might give you some perfume, you might buy from him, or you might simply enjoy the fragrance, whereas the blacksmith might burn your clothes, or you might get an unpleasant smell from him.”

6- Protecting them from all that can corrupt their morals and religion:

This includes protecting them from viewing indecent images that are broadcast on television or generally on the Internet, for their harmful impact on the hearts is significant, especially among the youth. It is clear how they incite desires and beautify the forbidden. We ask Allah to protect everyone from all evil.

7- Being close to them and satisfying their emotional needs:

The closeness of parents to their children, especially daughters, and fulfilling their emotional needs with love and affection, giving them confidence in themselves, is extremely important.

Engaging with them, participating in their games and interests, and praising their positive aspects, whether acquired traits like honesty, trustworthiness, and modesty, for example, or even physical attributes like strength in a young man or beauty in a girl, is crucial because humans naturally love those who care for them.

If children do not find this attention from their parents, they may seek it elsewhere from those who do not fear God, exploiting the deficiency they have in this aspect, and this could lead to their deviance.

The Fruits of Good Upbringing

Good upbringing yields great fruits, the most important of which are:

1- Being dutiful to parents and doing good to them:

There is no doubt that the first to benefit from a child’s righteousness, after themselves, are their parents. The effort that the parents have put in will bear fruit in their child being dutiful to them, especially in their old age, because this child was raised upon obedience to Allah, who obliges kindness to parents.

This good upbringing will yield prayers for the parents in their life, and it will not cease after their death. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “When a person dies, all their deeds come to an end except for three: a continuing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for them.” [Muslim]

2- The righteousness of the society around them:

Among the fruits of good upbringing is that society benefits from these children, who walk among people with the morals of the beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). They become a source of pride for their community and their country, they build its glory, and they uphold its honor and dignity. They enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, help the weak, and spread security. Their righteousness is for themselves and for others; they are righteous and reformers.

3- Continuous love and affection among them:

Among the immediate fruits is that righteous children live lovingly, compassionately, and in connection with one another because religion guides them with these virtuous morals.

As for others who were not raised upon obedience to Allah, they are often found to be envious, their problems never cease, and they tear each other apart. How many incidents occur between siblings that lead to insults and curses, to abandonment and severance, to hatred and animosity, and to murder and crimes. We ask Allah for safety.

4- Ensuring the righteousness of the coming generations:

Among the fruits is the continuation of righteousness and goodness in generations, for good upbringing yields good upbringing in turn; as the Almighty said: “They are descendants of one another.” [Quran 3: 34]

This multiplies the reward for everyone who plants a good seed, and Allah does not waste the reward of those who do good.

We ask Allah to protect our children and the children of the Muslims, and may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and all his companions.