Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Can a woman obtain an Islamic divorce over the phone or in writing if she does not wish to meet with her husband?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health.
A woman can get an Islamic divorce from the husband in writing, preferably, in the presence of witnesses, and by phone, too, if she does not want to meet the husband. The presence of the husband is only necessary if they want to discuss critical post-divorce arrangements with the presence of the wider family.
Keep with Honor or Separate with Grace
As the Quran teaches us, a woman should either be retained with honor or separated with grace. “The divorce that can be returned from may be pronounced up to two times, then either honorably retaining her, or kindly letting her go.” [Quran, 2:229]
Divorce may be affected in speech or in clear, understandable writing, whether signed by the husband or by someone he has given agency to do so on his behalf. [Qadri Pasha, al-Ahkam al-Shariyya Fil Ahwal al-Shakhsiyya]
Divorce – the Most Odious of Permissible Matters
Abdullah ibn ‘Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), said: “The most hated of permissible matters to Allah is divorce.” [Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah]
Divorce is the most hated of matters, yet once it is uttered clearly, or ambiguously, but with the intention of it, it will be effected. This is the reality.
Marriage – a Solution to Mutual Comfort
Marriage in Islam can be a mercy for the couple.
“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.” [Quran, 30:21]
Divorce – a Solution to Remove Mutual Harm
Divorce in Islam can be a mercy for the couple. The reason is if the intended goal of marriage is not attained – mutual comfort – then divorce is a solution to the difficulty.
Allah Most High stated in the Quran, “But if they choose to separate, Allah will enrich both of them from His bounties. And Allah is Ever-Bountiful, All-Wise.” [Quran, 4:130]
All Divorce Counts – Our Duty Is We Have to Submit to the Command of Allah Most High
Divorce in Islam, when used in a time of need, is a sound solution, just like a medicine that benefits with Allah’s permission when used correctly. But if it is misused, it harms. In divorce, there is a removal of harm from both the husband and wife. It is legislated in Islam, and in it, there is tremendous wisdom; at times, we might not understand the various situations, but we have to submit to the wisdom and command of Allah Most High.
Shaytan Is Most Pleased When Families Are Broken Up
Jabir (Allah be pleased with him) reported, The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” [Muslim]
Given the consideration in such cases, please sit down and talk about this issue with a reliable scholar and by seeking professional counseling help.
I pray to Allah Most High that you overcome any difficulty in the marriage and come to a solution and reconciliation, amin
- A Guide to Marriage: SeekersGuidance Reader
- A Little Fiqh on Controlling One’s Anger
- Shaykh Faraz Rabbani – “The Position of Islam on Divorce, Adoption, and Abortion.”
- What are the Wisdoms behind the Rulings on Divorce in Islam?
- What is the Purpose of Marriage? A Muslim Perspective – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
- Divorce Archives
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I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.