Can I Ask The Opposite Gender For Forgiveness?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question 

Is it permissible to reach out to a person of the opposite gender to seek their forgiveness? Is it permissible to give charity on their behalf as a means of obtaining their forgiveness?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

If contacting a person of the opposite gender does not entail any impermissible actions, cause harm to that person, or make the situation worse – it is permissible to do so. However, one should be very cautious to have proper etiquette when interacting with the opposite gender.

Some Etiquettes

The contact, if not in person, should remain formal and to the point. Thereafter, the contact should cease. If done in person, one should refrain from being in seclusion with them, from physical contact, from looking at parts of their body legally considered nakedness, etc…

Giving Charity

If contacting them is not possible, the scholars have mentioned that one should increase in good deeds in preparation for the possibility that some good deeds may be taken on the Day of Judgment. [Ghazali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din]

I have heard some of my teachers advise those who cannot seek forgiveness to do good deeds and donate the reward to that person with the intention that Allah Most High inspires them to forgive.

Hope this helps

Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Qur’anic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.