Is Refusing to Have Bedroom Relations a Reason To Stop Spousal Maintenance (Nafaqa)?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

What are the reasons a wife can lose her maintenance, according to Hanafi madhab? Is refusing sex one of them?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

Refusing sex is a ground for a wife to lose her spousal maintenance expense (nafaqa). However, it is not a general rule; one has to understand that marriage is not about demanding rights from each other and not giving them to the other if not received.

The husband has to understand the nature of a woman and her refusal, and at the same time, the wife has to understand him; both need to compromise and have respectful reasoning, and a way forward for better relations.

Heart of Marriage -Compromise and Findings Ways to Grow

The heart of marriage is all about compromising with each other. While both husband and wife have responsibilities and duties owed to each other mandated by the sharia, the couples should be willing to compromise based on the needs of the spouses at different stages in the life cycle.

Refusing sex is a ground for a wife to lose her spousal maintenance expense. [Ibn ’Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

An Understanding Husband Will Not Enforce

A faithful husband will not enforce a relationship but will seek his rights respectfully, find ways to engage her with compromise and find a treatment for her if she has issues when she refuses any relationship. He will not stop her basic maintenance rights.

Allah Most High said in the following verses: “Do not harass them to make their stay unbearable.” [Quran: 65:6]

In another verse, he said, “Treat them fairly.” [Quran, 4:19]

Abu Sa’id Sa’d bin Malik bin Sinan al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm” [Ibn Maja, Dar al-Qutni]

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What Are the Financial Responsibilities of a Man Regarding His Children From a First Marriage? – SeekersGuidance

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[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.

(قَوْلُهُ لَوْ مَانَعَتْهُ مِنْ الْوَطْءِ إلَخْ) قَيَّدَهُ فِي السِّرَاجِ بِمَنْزِلِ الزَّوْجِ وَبِقُدْرَتِهِ عَلَى وَطْئِهَا كَرْهًا. وَقَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ: لَا نَفَقَةَ لَهَا؛ لِأَنَّهَا نَاشِزَةٌ. اهـ وَالثَّانِي وَجِيهٌ فِي حَقِّ مَنْ يَسْتَحِي، وَهَذَا يُشِيرُ إلَى أَنَّ هَذَا الْمَنْعَ فِي مَنْزِلِهَا نُشُوزٌ بِالِاتِّفَاقِ سَائِحَانِيٌّ.
[رد المحتار ١ – كتاب النفقة]