Can I Desire a Spouse That Is of an Equal or Higher Station than Myself?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question

Is it permissible to desire a spouse that is of an equal or higher station than oneself?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

Desiring a spouse that is righteous is praiseworthy, especially if one intends seeking someone who can help them in their Deen. The Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) gave criterion for one to choose a spouse.

Seeking a Wife

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace)  said, “A woman is married for four (reasons): for her wealth, for her status, for her beauty, and for her religion. Thus, seek the religious one, you will be successful.” [Bukhari]

Seeking a Husband

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “If one (i.e. a man) proposes to you whose religion and character please you, then marry him. If you do not, there will be trial in the land and vast corruption.” [Tirmidhi]

Hope this helps

Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Qur’anic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.