Can one Avoid Saying One is Divorced and Separated?


Hanafi Fiqh

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I have recently been divorced. The people that are aware of this are my mother and sister. I have work colleagues and some family members always asking me about my husband and why I don’t have children. I am a private person and don’t want people to know I am divorced, and in particular, the rumors and gossip, unfortunately, circulate once knowing.

Can I say that my husband has passed away, or is there something better you can advise me to say? I don’t want people to know I have divorced.

May Allah forgive me for asking such a question.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. I empathize with your situation and dilemma. It is better to let everyone know eventually, as this will allow you to move on in your own life. Life is short; it will be a positive outcome eventually. Otherwise, you will have all this negativity and mental guilt running through you and affect you physically and emotionally, running into illness -Allah Most High forbid.

Amicable Separation

Instead of living in a juggling situation, you will do yourself, your mind, and your heart good that you have amicably separated. You can just say this was the best situation for both of us. No need to go into detail. You will be in good stead in the future for your marriage, and your family honor will be intact. Allah Most High says the Quran, when guiding us about divorce, shows us; that a wife should be retained with honor or separated with grace. “The divorce that can be returned from may be pronounced up to two times, then either honorably retaining her or kindly letting her go.” [Quran, 2:229]

Allah Most High guide us every moment of our life and give us ease to do and say what pleases Him, amin

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.