What Are a Husband’s Rights over His Wife?
Answered by Shaykh Muhammad Fayez Awad
Question
What are a husband’s rights over his wife?
Answer
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Blessings and peace be upon the Master of the Messengers, his Family, and all his Companions.
The marital relationship is a significant one, protected by Islamic law, which has established measures to preserve and safeguard it. Marriage is an important religious requirement, and numerous texts encourage and promote it.
Undoubtedly, Islamic law has established specific rights and responsibilities for men and women, each suited to their respective natures. The husband’s authority over his wife is well-established through the Quran and Sunna. This authority is one of responsibility and accountability before Allah (Most High), not of superiority or oppression. It serves to organize and manage family affairs rather than to dominate or demean the wife.
The meaning of a husband’s authority over his wife is to protect and care for her and to manage her affairs.
Reasons for a Husband’s Authority over His Wife
Allah (Most High) established the husband’s authority over his wife for two reasons, as mentioned in His saying:
“Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. ” [Quran, 4:34]
- The first reason is that Allah (Most High) has favored men over women in certain aspects of creation, granting them strength and abilities that women do not possess, resulting in differences in religious duties and rights.
- The second reason is the financial support the husband provides, including the dowry and ongoing daily expenses.
Imam Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) mentioned that after affirming the preference of men over women for these reasons, he said: “The benefit of this preference returns to the women.” [Qurtubi, Tafsir Qurtubi]
This means that the preference benefits women because they are protected, maintained, financially supported, and relieved from the burden of working outside the home, as the husband takes on that responsibility. This prevents her from having to manage both external and domestic work.
The husband’s authority is not one of tyranny or oppression but is based on affection and mercy. Allah (Most High) says:
“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.” [Quran, 30:21]
This authority granted to the husband is not for him to be harsh or oppressive to the wife, but to protect and care for her, with love and mercy as the foundation of the relationship.
It does not mean disregarding the woman’s opinion or belittling her personality. It is acknowledged that both men and women are creations of Allah, who does not wrong His creation. He prepares each for their specific roles and endows them with the necessary capabilities. Allah has given women the ability to bear children, nurse, and nurture the fruits of the relationship between her and her husband. These are significant and critical responsibilities that require deep physical, psychological, and mental readiness inherent in women.
Husband’s Rights Over His Wife
Therefore, it is just for the husband to provide necessary support and protection, and he has been given physical, mental, and emotional qualities to fulfill his responsibilities, including financial support, as part of this distribution of roles.
Thus, it is the wife’s duty to fulfill the following rights towards her husband:
1. Obligation of Obedience
A wife must obey her husband in what is right and within her ability, without hardship or harm. [Haythami, Tuhfat al-Muhtaj; Qalyubi/‘Amira, Hashiyata Qalyubi wa ‘Amira]
Narrated by Abu Hurayra that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter through any gate of Paradise she wishes.” [Ibn Hibban; Ahmad; Tabarani]
In another hadith, Husayn Ibn Mihsan reported that his aunt went to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) to ask him about something. He asked,
“Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked, “How are you with him?” She replied, “I do my best.” He said, “Then be good to him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.” [Hakim; Nasa’i; Bayhaqi]
Umm Salama reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” [Hakim; Tirmidhi; Ibn Maja]
2. Enabling the Husband’s Enjoyment
It is the wife’s duty to allow her husband to enjoy her. If he marries a woman who is capable of consummation, she must make herself available to him upon his request, once the marriage contract is in place. [Haythami, Tuhfat al-Muhtaj; Ramli, Nihayat al-Muhtaj]
If a wife refuses her husband’s request for intimacy without a valid excuse, such as menstruation, obligatory fasting, or illness, she is considered sinful for committing a grave act.
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he goes to sleep angry, the angels curse her until morning.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
3. Seeking the Husband’s Permission in Certain Matters
- Permission for Those the Husband Dislikes: It is the husband’s right that his wife does not allow anyone into his house whom he dislikes. [Nawawi, Sharh Muslim]
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is present, except with his permission, and she should not allow anyone into his house without his permission. Whatever she spends from his wealth without his consent, half of it will be returned to him.” [Bukhari; Muslim] - Leaving the House: It is the husband’s right that his wife does not leave the house without his permission, even to visit her relatives or parents. [Nawawi, Minhaj al-Talibin; Haythami, Tuhfat al-Muhtaj]
Because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and obligatory acts cannot be forsaken for non-obligatory ones.
This is supported by what ‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) reported, saying to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace): “Do you permit me to visit my parents?” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Leaving her husband’s house without his permission is considered defiance. - Voluntary Fasting: A woman should not observe voluntary fasting while her husband is present without his permission. [Nawawi, al-Majmu‘; Shirbini, Mughni al-Muhtaj; Qalyubi/‘Amira, Hashiyata Qalyubi wa ‘Amira]
This is supported by the hadith of Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him), where the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is present except with his permission.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
4. Charity of Women
I. Charity from a Woman’s Own Wealth: It is permissible for a woman to give charity from her wealth without her husband’s permission. [Haythami, Tuhfat al-Muhtaj; Shirbini, Mughni al-Muhtaj]
‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: Barira came to me and said,
“My people have made a contract for me to pay off nine awqiyyas over nine years, one awqiyya per year. Assist me.” I said to her, “If your people wish, I will pay the whole amount at once and emancipate you, and loyalty will be theirs.” So I did that. She mentioned this to her family, but they insisted that loyalty be theirs. She then came to me and mentioned it. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) heard about it and asked me, so I informed him. He said,
“Buy her and emancipate her, but stipulate that loyalty be theirs, for loyalty belongs to the one who emancipates.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) said, “If your people wish, I will pay the whole amount at once and emancipate you, and loyalty will be mine, so I did.”
This indicates the permissibility of a woman managing her wealth through purchasing, emancipation, and other matters, provided she is discerning, without the condition of her husband’s permission.
Zaynab, the wife of ‘Abdullah, reported: I was in the mosque when the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Give in charity even from your adornments.” [Ibid.]
Thus, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) commanded them to give charity without stipulating the husband’s permission.
II. Charity from the Husband’s Wealth without His Permission: A woman does not have the right to give charity from her husband’s wealth without his permission unless it is a small amount that does not harm the husband, as is customary. [Nawawi, al-Majmu‘, Sharh Muslim]
This is evidenced by what Asma bint Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with them both) narrated: She asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), saying, “Zubayr is a stingy man. He comes to me while I am in my home and I give in charity from his wealth without his permission.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Take what is sufficient for you and your children with kindness.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
And ‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“When a woman spends from her husband’s food, without causing extravagance, she will have the reward for what she spent, her husband will have his reward for what he earned, and the storekeeper will have a similar reward, without diminishing the reward of one of them over the others.” [Ibid.]
These two hadiths indicate the permissibility of giving charity from a small portion of the husband’s wealth, which is tolerated in customary practice while understanding that it is not permissible to give charity from a substantial amount without permission.
5. Good Treatment of the Wife
And this is in accordance with His saying:
“Women have rights similar to those of men equitably, although men have a degree (of responsibility) above them. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.” [Quran, 2:228]
Qurtubi said: And from him (meaning Ibn ‘Abbas) also, meaning they (wives) have rights similar to good companionship and kindness upon their husbands, just as what is upon them of obedience in what their husbands have enjoined upon them.
6. Disciplining
It is permissible for a husband to discipline his wife when she disobeys his commands in matters of kindness, not in matters of sin, because Allah has commanded disciplining women by ignoring them in bed and disciplining them gently when they do not obey.
Among the evidences for the permissibility of disciplining:
Allah (Most High) says:
“And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them (first), (if they persist,) do not share their beds, (but if they still persist,) then discipline them (gently). But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.” [Quran, 4:34]
He (Most High) says:
“O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” [Quran, 66:6]
Ibn Kathir said:
Qatada says that you command them to obey Allah, and you forbid them from disobeying Allah, and you stand by them in Allah’s command, and you command them with it, and you help them with it. So when you see them inclined towards disobedience to Allah, you prevent them from it, and you discourage them from it. [Ibn Kathir, Tafsir Ibn Kathir]
We ask Allah to grant both spouses success in fulfilling each other’s rights so that love and harmony may spread in the Muslim community. Indeed, He is All-Hearing and All-responding.
Allah knows best.
[Shaykh] Muhammad Fayez Awad
Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad, born in Damascus, Syria, in 1965, pursued his Islamic studies in the mosques and institutes of Damascus. A graduate of the Islamic University of Medina in 1985, he holds a Ph.D. in Islamic Studies from Bahauddin Zakariya University in Pakistan.
He has extensive experience developing curricula and enhancing the teaching of various academic courses, including conducting intensive courses. Shaykh Awad has taught Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Quranic sciences, the history of legislation, inheritance laws, and more at several institutes and universities such as Al-Furqan Institute for Islamic Sciences and Majma‘ al-Fath al-Islami in Damascus.
He is a lecturer at the Sultan Muhammad al-Fatih Waqf University in Istanbul, teaching various Arabic and Islamic subjects, and teaches at numerous Islamic institutes in Istanbul. Shaykh Awad is a member of the Association of Syrian Scholars, a founding member of the Zayd bin Thabit Foundation, a member of the Syrian Scholars Association, and a member of the Academic Council at the Iman Center for Teaching the Sunna and Quran.
Among his teachers from whom he received Ijazat are his father, Shaykh Muhammad Muhiyiddin Awad, Shaykh Muhiyiddin al-Kurdi, Shaykh Muhammad Karim Rajih, Shaykh Usama al-Rifai, Shaykh Ayman Suwaid, Shaykh Ahmad al-Qalash, Shaykh Muhammad Awwama, and Shaykh Mamduh Junayd.
