Should I Apologize for Backbiting About People Who Bullied Me?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
I’ve wanted to get closer to Allah, but my past stops me. I have wronged too many people in the past. In middle school, I was bullied severely, and this caused me to slander and insult many of my bullies and lash out at other people. They would insult me, and one of them was even physically hurtful. I am not justifying my actions as I understand two wrongs don’t make a right. I am willing to contact and am trying to reach a few of them and ask for forgiveness for my slander—however, some bullies I don’t want to get to them. I’ve forgiven many and am not sure if they’ve forgiven me. Is it sufficient to repent and give charity on behalf of these particular bullies and leave the rest to Allah’s judgment?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your valuable question and for seeking guidance.
First, I would like to say your regret for past wrongs is a sign of your closeness to Allah Most High and His for accountability. Although some of the wrongs were uncontrollable a lot of the time and a genuine mistake by you due to lack of knowledge and restraint, as we usually don’t possess them at that age.
As you mentioned, contact those whom you can, and leave, pray, and give charity on behalf of those whom you can’t. This will be sufficient, in sha Allah.
Good Works Remove Bad From Record
Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud (Allah be pleased with him) reported that a man kissed a woman, came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), and mentioned it to him. The verse was revealed, “Perform prayer at the two ends of the day and in the first hours of the night. Verily, good deeds remove evil deeds.” [Quran, 11:114] The man said, “O Messenger of Allah, is it for me only?” The Prophet said, “It is for all who act upon it from my nation.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.
Related
- How to Strengthen Faith in Allah and Return to Him? A Reader – SeekersGuidance
- How Do I Repent for My Sin as a Young Teenager? – SeekersGuidance
- A Reader on OCD and Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings) (seekersguidance.org)
- Purification of the Heart for Youth: Diseases of the Heart and Their Cure – YouTube
- The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained – YouTube
- Purification of the Heart: Signs, Symptoms, and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart: Hamza Yusuf: 9780985565909: Amazon.com: Books (Book)
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance
- A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) – SeekersGuidance
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
