Can I Watch My Wife, Touching Herself for Arousal?

Shafi'i Fiqh

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question 

Would it be permissible if my wife sensually and provocatively applies oil/lotion on her body, particularly her private parts, for her husband’s viewing pleasure? At the same time, he experiences orgasm (up to ejaculation, without touching his private parts)?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate. May Allah alleviate our difficulties and guide us to that which is pleasing to Him.

What you described is permissible if it does not result in self-stimulation for yourself and your wife. Allah knows best.

A man may look at his wife or vice versa, including her nakedness, though it is offensive for either husband or wife to look at the other’s genitals. Masturbation through self-stimulation is unlawful, but spouses may stimulate each other, and Allah knows best. [Nawawi, Minhaj al-Talibin]

Self-Stimulation

Al-Imam Shafi’i concluded that masturbation (self-stimulation) is unlawful because Allah Most High says: “And those who guard their chastity [i.e., private parts, from illegal sexual acts]. Except for their wives or (concubines) that their right hands possess – for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.” [Quran, 23:5-7]

Sex Limitations

Married couples may enjoy each other’s entire bodies if their enjoyment does not cause any harm. Anal intercourse is unlawful. [Nawawi, Minhaj al-Talibin]

A Marriage-Boosting Opportunity

Enjoy the lawful pleasure that Allah Most High has gifted you and use the opportunity to teach one another about what you both find pleasurable. Both partners may have peculiar likes and dislikes known to them alone, but instead of resorting to unlawful self-stimulation, teach your partner how to make you feel good, and Allah knows best.

I pray this is of benefit and that Allah guides us all.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar, Shaykh Taha Karaan.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Mawlana Yusuf Karaan, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has served as the Director of the Discover Islam Centre and Al Jeem Foundation. For the last five years till present, he has served as the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has thirteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic online learning and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and pursuing his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy living and fitness.