Do I Need to Ask Forgiveness for Dry-Humping My Siter While She Was Sleeping?


Answered by Ustada Shazia Ahmad

Question

When I was 12, I dry-humped my sister while she was sleeping. This went on for some time and she would occasionally move during this. I did not know this thing was wrong until I searched it up and found out how severe a sin this is, so I immediately stopped. I am 15 and my sister is about 12. I asked forgiveness from her by saying “Please forgive me for doing something to you during the night a few years back.” I said it like this and she said that she does not remember but still nevertheless forgave me for whatever it was. Yet still I dont know if this is enough to be forgiven in Islam and this is making me depressed. I asked her by writing it on paper as I was too ashamed to speak it and did not mention the sin by name.

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your stress and sadness, but know that Allah Most High is the All-Merciful and you have done what is required of you.

Despair
You must not despair because Allah Most High has told us, “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) emphasized this when he told us, “Allah, Blessed is He and Most High, said: ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. O son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]

Anxiety
After having sought forgiveness for your sins with your sister, now focus on gratitude and stop looking back. Make a gratitude journal and write in it every day what you are grateful for. When anxiety or worry creeps in, immediately make dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and do something beneficial. Study Islam, study the life of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), learn the Quran, learn Arabic and compete with others in good works. Fulfill your duties to Allah as best as you can, and supplicate to him during special times, such as before dawn, and the last hour before Maghrib on Friday. Channel your energy into exercise and good hobbies. Keep building your relationship with your Lord, for He does not tire until you tire of it.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), “ […] You should do what you are able to, for by Allah, Allah does not get tired (of giving reward) but you get tired.’” [Ibn Maja]

Wipe It Out
And make this your mantra: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]

Please say this du`a daily:

اللهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَمِلْتُ وَشَرِّ مَا لَمْ أَعْمَلْ 

“O Allah, I seek refuge in you from the evil I have done and the evil I have not done. [Muslim]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next
[Ustada]Shazia Ahmad
Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.