How Can I Maintain Good Relations with My Christian Family during the Festive Season?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel


My friend is a convert and a mother of a very little daughter. She had a problem with her Catholic parents. She must spend with them the whole month and Xmas time. They always try to share their traditions and stories about Santa with her daughter. She points out this to her mother, and they fight. On one side, she knows that keeping tight-knit with non-Muslim family is important, but she doesn’t allow them to spread shirk to her daughter. How should she act?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are well. May Allah (Most High) reward you for seeking an answer which is pleasing to Him.

I commend you for keeping good ties with your family, especially during the festive season. It is not easy to stay during this time if it impacts the children, as you mention. However, keep up with the family ties, try to speak to them with love and wisdom, and find an alternative way of being together. One can discuss the traditions and customs, but with respect for each.

You can speak to your family not to share stories in such a way that impacts the children’s beliefs, but all this has to be done lovingly and with wisdom, with gifts and good manners, without showing any anger. You have to remember you want for them what you love dear, entering Islam in their life, so it has to be shown lovingly through deep wisdom.

“And who is better in speech than one who calls to Allah, and does righteousness, and says, ‘Surely I am one of the Muslims’?” [Quran, 41:33]

I pray Allah (Most High) opens up ways to keep the good ties in a meaningful way and rewards you for patience and the family entering the fold of Islam, amin.

I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.